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Faithful Attraction: See how it’s condemned.

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
(Isa 5:20)

Imagine an adult male virgin of undisclosed age standing in a mall, people watching. He watches young men walk by in their skinny jeans and their hair filled with gel. He watches the young women in their revealing clothing, with body piercings, tattoos, and unnaturally colored hair. He watches the divorced women, the single mothers and the married but flirty women. He watches the female virgins his own age………wait what? Why would he even DESIRE to do that?

Given that this man is attractive himself, being attracted to ANY of those people he sees at the mall is welcome, in fact celebrated. But the moment he crosses over and actually desires the type of person who has the greatest ability to provide both offspring AND the stable home that would afford the best opportunity for success to those offspring and this man is castigated and shamed. In one stroke he becomes a “slut-shamer”, a homophobe, insecure in his masculinity, not sufficiently forgiving or pious and a pervert. This man is the worst form of evil known to society and the “church”.

When God said: “Be fruitful and multiply” He was giving a command and tipping His hand in our design. We were made to be attracted to fruitfulness and biological multiplication. It is good, so it shouldn’t come as a shock when the enemy comes slithering through the grass and rejoins: “Hath God REALLY said?”.  The attraction that is faithful to God’s command is the one that CANNOT be acceptable.

After heeding the voice of the enemy, people as quickly as they can to support the hypergamous alpha seeking strategies of their daughters and sisters. Need to dress like a slut? Here let me help. Need to have access to a room or a car (and a wink and a nod) for your promiscuous forays? Happy to provide. Need birth control? Let’s get an appointment set up. Couldn’t land the alpha stud by getting pregnant? How about abortion/WIC/welfare/child support? Attracted to your girlfriend? Wow, that’s quite a relief. Whatever it is that we do we cannot challenge you to either be holy OR make good decisions with your reproductive health. (Remember men need to “butt-out” but make good with their taxes and wallets). And if you don’t go along at any stage you are a misogynistic woman-hater (for failing to back their preferred mating strategy).

This isn’t just the world, it’s the so called “church”, where we call evil good and good evil. Faithfulness to God’s word and design is to be shunned above all else.

The woe is coming because the whoa was forgotten.

Game, a Philippians 4:4-7 Refutation

In another post on this blog it occurred to me what taproot the fundamentals of game grew from. That is, discontentment. Insecure, unhappy, disturbed, agitated people need someone to calm all of their tingles, to satiate their itches. To pass their fitness tests and affirm them, letting wives know that there husband is the stable rock in the midst of a storm strewn sea. That is why we see an increasing cry for men to “Man up”, provide more security at the same time their foundations are be smashed under their feet. The more those foundations are smashed the less peace everyone has the more everyone craves it. Then comes “game”; psychological trickery designed to recognize this lack of peace and to short circuit it’s response to suit the gamer, otherwise known as manipulation. When faced with an insecure wife, date, PUA prospect, the gamer sees opportunity, weakness to be exploited. He knows that if he behaves a certain way it will be perceived as strength and stability by the gamed. Trust me says the gamer, I won’t let you down…..

Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.

For he shall be like the heath in the desert, and shall not see when good cometh; but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land and not inhabited.

Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.

For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.  Jeremiah 17:5-8

The gamer is a deceiver who offers the woman to “rest” in his masculinity, anchored in the void. The gamer says that women are weak while refusing to acknowledge their own weakness, because to acknowledge their own weakness and need to trust in God it would ruin their game.

In my argument I suggest that content women do no fitness test. They do not build instances by which they can test their husbands love and commitment to them. Why? Because their security comes from God, and that their contentment comes from their faith in Him. The drought doesn’t cause them concern, they know that they will continue to bear fruit because of Him and His goodness. Has their husband failed, is he weak, is he sick, unemployed? Sounds like a drought to me? Who is worried? The one who puts their trust in man.

Now see the connection:

Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7)

By recognizing and being thankful for the provision of God we have peace. The lack of peace and Godliness in the world makes it a place open to deceit and manipulation to “work”. Game uses these very tools and this same appeal to pragmatism. Is it any wonder that the evils of feminism, preying on the sin nature of women also makes them susceptible to the predations of game? Jesus mapped the way out of this, death to the discontented self, death to the deceitful and manipulative self, and peace in Him.

Personal Jesus demands blood from his priests

We’ve talked about this idol named “Personal Jesus” quite a bit on this blog. Meditating on his identity today I started piecing together his characteristics and noted his similarity with another “Lord”, namely Baal.

1 Kings 18

And it came to pass after many days, that the word of the LORD came to Elijah in the third year, saying, Go, shew thyself unto Ahab; and I will send rain upon the earth. And Elijah went to shew himself unto Ahab. And there was a sore famine in Samaria. And Ahab called Obadiah, which was the governor of his house. (Now Obadiah feared the LORD greatly: For it was so, when Jezebel cut off the prophets of the LORD, that Obadiah took an hundred prophets, and hid them by fifty in a cave, and fed them with bread and water.) And Ahab said unto Obadiah, Go into the land, unto all fountains of water, and unto all brooks: peradventure we may find grass to save the horses and mules alive, that we lose not all the beasts. So they divided the land between them to pass throughout it: Ahab went one way by himself, and Obadiah went another way by himself. And as Obadiah was in the way, behold, Elijah met him: and he knew him, and fell on his face, and said, Art thou that my lord Elijah? And he answered him, I am: go, tell thy lord, Behold, Elijah is here. And he said, What have I sinned, that thou wouldest deliver thy servant into the hand of Ahab, to slay me? As the LORD thy God liveth, there is no nation or kingdom, whither my lord hath not sent to seek thee: and when they said, He is not there; he took an oath of the kingdom and nation, that they found thee not. And now thou sayest, Go, tell thy lord, Behold, Elijah is here. And it shall come to pass, as soon as I am gone from thee, that the Spirit of the LORD shall carry thee whither I know not; and so when I come and tell Ahab, and he cannot find thee, he shall slay me: but I thy servant fear the LORD from my youth. Was it not told my lord what I did when Jezebel slew the prophets of the LORD, how I hid an hundred men of the LORD’S prophets by fifty in a cave, and fed them with bread and water? And now thou sayest, Go, tell thy lord, Behold, Elijah is here: and he shall slay me. And Elijah said, As the LORD of hosts liveth, before whom I stand, I will surely shew myself unto him to day. So Obadiah went to meet Ahab, and told him: and Ahab went to meet Elijah. And it came to pass, when Ahab saw Elijah, that Ahab said unto him, Art thou he that troubleth Israel? And he answered, I have not troubled Israel; but thou, and thy father’s house, in that ye have forsaken the commandments of the LORD, and thou hast followed Baalim. Now therefore send, and gather to me all Israel unto mount Carmel, and the prophets of Baal four hundred and fifty, and the prophets of the groves four hundred, which eat at Jezebel’s table. So Ahab sent unto all the children of Israel, and gathered the prophets together unto mount Carmel. And Elijah came unto all the people, and said, How long halt ye between two opinions? if the LORD be God, follow him: but if Baal, then follow him. And the people answered him not a word. Then said Elijah unto the people, I, even I only, remain a prophet of the LORD; but Baal’s prophets are four hundred and fifty men. Let them therefore give us two bullocks; and let them choose one bullock for themselves, and cut it in pieces, and lay it on wood, and put no fire under: and I will dress the other bullock, and lay it on wood, and put no fire under: And call ye on the name of your gods, and I will call on the name of the LORD: and the God that answereth by fire, let him be God. And all the people answered and said, It is well spoken. And Elijah said unto the prophets of Baal, Choose you one bullock for yourselves, and dress it first; for ye are many; and call on the name of your gods, but put no fire underAnd they took the bullock which was given them, and they dressed it, and called on the name of Baal from morning even until noon, saying, O Baal, hear us. But there was no voice, nor any that answered. And they leaped upon the altar which was made. And it came to pass at noon, that Elijah mocked them, and said, Cry aloud: for he is a god; either he is talking, or he is pursuing, or he is in a journey, or peradventure he sleepeth, and must be awaked. And they cried aloud, and cut themselves after their manner with knives and lancets, till the blood gushed out upon them. And it came to pass, when midday was past, and they prophesied until the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice, that there was neither voice, nor any to answer, nor any that regarded. And Elijah said unto all the people, Come near unto me. And all the people came near unto him. And he repaired the altar of the LORD that was broken down. And Elijah took twelve stones, according to the number of the tribes of the sons of Jacob, unto whom the word of the LORD came, saying, Israel shall be thy name: And with the stones he built an altar in the name of the LORD: and he made a trench about the altar, as great as would contain two measures of seed. And he put the wood in order, and cut the bullock in pieces, and laid him on the wood, and said, Fill four barrels with water, and pour it on the burnt sacrifice, and on the wood. And he said, Do it the second time. And they did it the second time. And he said, Do it the third time. And they did it the third time. And the water ran round about the altar; and he filled the trench also with water. And it came to pass at the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice, that Elijah the prophet came near, and said, LORD God of Abraham, Isaac, and of Israel, let it be known this day that thou art God in Israel, and that I am thy servant, and that I have done all these things at thy word. Hear me, O LORD, hear me, that this people may know that thou art the LORD God, and that thou hast turned their heart back again. Then the fire of the LORD fell, and consumed the burnt sacrifice, and the wood, and the stones, and the dust, and licked up the water that was in the trench. And when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces: and they said, The LORD, he is the God; the LORD, he is the God. And Elijah said unto them, Take the prophets of Baal; let not one of them escape. And they took them: and Elijah brought them down to the brook Kishon, and slew them there. And Elijah said unto Ahab, Get thee up, eat and drink; for there is a sound of abundance of rain. So Ahab went up to eat and to drink. And Elijah went up to the top of Carmel; and he cast himself down upon the earth, and put his face between his knees, And said to his servant, Go up now, look toward the sea. And he went up, and looked, and said, There is nothing. And he said, Go again seven times. And it came to pass at the seventh time, that he said, Behold, there ariseth a little cloud out of the sea, like a man’s hand. And he said, Go up, say unto Ahab, Prepare thy chariot, and get thee down, that the rain stop thee not. And it came to pass in the mean while, that the heaven was black with clouds and wind, and there was a great rain. And Ahab rode, and went to Jezreel. And the hand of the LORD was on Elijah; and he girded up his loins, and ran before Ahab to the entrance of Jezreel.

Neither “deity”, Baal or Personal Jesus, hates divorce or remarriage, neither “deity” condemns the shedding of innocent blood (whether it is Naboth at the hands of Jezebel or the unborn at the hands of modern Jezebels) if it enriches their followers, neither have a problem with matriarchy, both require the sacrifices of their priests. Before we had the gouging themselves with lances seeking “the lift”, not they denigrate leadership and masculinity. In the case of Baal, the priests pierced themselves to win the attention of their “god”, today they pierce themselves in the New Testament sense, that is, on what Paul would call the “grief” of marriage. Rainey, Dobson, Mohler, Driscoll and their followers call for greater sacrifices hoping that “fire” will fall and prove their “god” to be true. They cannot just walk away, they are invested, their strategy must give success (in the form of marriages) and the string of failures only serve to increase the frenzy of their desperate attempts.

Like Elijah, 7000 have not bowed the knee. We know our God will answer. We know Jezebel is going to be thrown down and consumed by dogs. We know that the priests of Personal Jesus are going to die at that brook because Personal Jesus doesn’t answer (and the marriages they “cover” are living proof of it). These Baal worshipers are proving every day that their sacrifice is NOT being accepted. The mocking has already begun. These are the days of Elijah……..

Matriarchal Utopia? Or Rodent Gommorah?

In 1968 Garret Hardin published “The Tragedy of the Commons” in the journal, “Science”. In it he explored the concept that publicly shared resources could be overrun by users who being pressed by short term self-interest could destroy a resource that they should rather preserve by cooperation through the motivation of long term self-interest. Usually this is where Malthusian discussions of overpopulation kick in, I don’t intend to go there. Instead, I am thinking about another overpopulation experiment that essentially has a tragedy of the commons worked into it: John Calhoun’s Mouse Utopia and the concept of the “behavioral sink“. The concepts that flow from Calhoun’s work naturally work with Hardin’s ideas and are frequently discussed together with current events like urban population, crime and violence (which I think has merit). However, I think that the REAL tragedy was overlooked.

The overpopulation in Calhoun’s Utopia’s served as a stressor, primarily to rodent breeding, and rearing behavior. However, unlike Calhoun or any of his Malthusian Zero Population Growth proponents I’m not looking at the overpopulation except as a generic stressor upon society (that may be replaced with many others). By divorcing the particulars of the stressor from the outcome I think that we can learn a whole lot more about what other stressors may be accomplishing. Rather than looking at the stressor we look at the results of the stress. For example, in the mice, the destructive “behavioral sink” was caused by an excess of social and spacial pressures on the territorial behavior of the sexually reproductive males. Essentially pressure built to the point where they were unable to defend their territory, their breeding opportunities based on that space and the young rearing activities of their mates. The females responded to this stress by attacking their pups, driving them out of the nests and refusing to build or maintain nests suitable for the rearing of young. This ultimately resulted in the extirpation of the colony. No breeding, no rearing, and no going back. Sound familiar?

If I were applying Calhoun to humans, I would not be focusing on population as the chief stressor. We aren’t seeing waves of “dropouts” going on violent raping and killings sprees even after they have washed out socially and suffered what Calhoun described as “the first death” (think prison as the locus of our behavioral sinks). Instead the pressures on successful child rearing in the West take on a subtler form. The anti-family predations of culture which incite child destroying behavior. The universal destruction of male space, male “privileges” and male ownership. I don’t believe it all is an accident.

Examine Calhoun’s Mouse Utopia #25. What were described in the experiment as “dropouts” broke psychologically. They started congregating in the central space and lashing out with random violence, cannibalism and what is described as hyper and/or pansexualism. A mousy little Sodom and Gomorrah. Eventually these “miscreants” began impinging upon the behaviors of sexually productive mice causing THEM to dropout. Quickly the fabric of the mouse society devolved into a death spiral, breaking into several groups with the mosh-pit mice and the socially withdrawn mice. Socially withdrawn females and even a group of males who focused on nothing but eating, drinking and grooming which Calhoun dubbed “the beautiful ones”, little mousy MGTOWS.

After reading years of Dalrock, and many others, I’m becoming convinced that Western societies have essentially been driven to this tipping point. The “commons” are the ability for men to provision and lead their families. The “space” to have positive authority in the lives of their children. The moral suasion of the priest and head of their wife and children. Even to the point of having meaningful contact. The ability to shield them from the destructive forces of the depraved “first deather’s” (feminists, family courts, secular culture, higher education and on and on). The servant husband and father is on the brink of extinction and that his sacrifices are largely unwanted and despised. The incentives to male investment and feminism outside and inside the “church” is opposed to rewarding men for anything, most of all masculinity without which there is no protected space for family. I’ve been contemplating an inventory of these stressors, anything that causes disruption to the two parent (father/mother) and extended family, it might make a good series of posts.

For some reason “thinking about the little mosh-pit mice”, Robert Plant seems strangely appropriate:

On waves of love my heart is breaking
And stranger still my self control I can’t rely on anymore
New tides surprise – my world it’s changing
Within this frame an ocean swells – behind this smile I know it well

Beneath a lover’s moon I’m waiting
I am the pilot of the storm – adrift in pleasure I may drown
I built this ship – it is my making
And furthermore my self control I can’t rely on anymore
I know why – I know why
Crazy on a ship of fools
Crazy on a ship of fools
Turn this boat around – back to my loving ground

Who claims that no man is an island
While I land up in jeopardy – more distant from you by degrees
I walk this shore in isolation
And at my feet eternity draws ever sweeter plans for me
I know why – I know why
Crazy on a ship of fools
Crazy on a ship of fools
Turn this boat around – back to my loving ground
Oh no, oh no – ship of fools —

(tip to Johnnycomelately on Dalrock for reminding me of Calhoun).

Legalism and Game.

I grew up in a legalistic Church. Think Amish with cars. The rulebook for how to operate in this “fellowship” wordwise was somewhere in the vicinity of Atlas Shrugged. The elders had met over the years and decided upon the propriety of everything from bicycles to how to best hold up your pants and whether photography was “the debil”. Higher education was frowned upon and there was no doubt when the wifely submission verses came up they were NOT glossed over. I’ve really put a lot of my life into realizing what was wrong with all of this. While the rules would always be justified and many made a lot of sense they are reactionary. Worship songs were sung at Alvin and the Chipmunks recording speed in a capella because over 100 years prior people had danced to their singing. Plain was the watchword. They needed a preformatted answer to EVERY situation and the “right” answer could very easily be right because it was the opposite of what everyone else was doing. In short, they reacted to EVERYTHING. (I never joined that church to the dismay of many parents whose sons and daughters looked up to me).

It dawns on me that strict adherence to Game can be very similar. I’ve been reading Dalrock for a couple of years now and seen the pro and anti game arguments and have had something like a pragmatic ambivalence. I’ve been chided for making game-like or even white knight type correlations between a husbands good behavior and a positive outcome on the marriage front and I am better seeing why that is happening. My faith can easily be regarded as determinism, that if you follow the rules that nothing bad will happen. I know better. Tight game AND/OR epic feats of white knightery do not automatically result in a good marriage (quite the contrary); as I have stated even perfect obedience to God is often insufficient to keep a relationship together (Jesus and Judas). Here is the rub as I see it, having an understanding of hypergamy and the basic understanding of human nature is a useful tool as is having all of the verses which tell us to love our wives as Christ loves the Church memorized. The application of those tools is a field where many problems arise.

I suggest that game and white knightery are two sides of the same reactionary coin. They are both the feeble efforts of men trying to take control of an uncontrollable situation. The white knight supposes that he has a Godly blueprint for success with the opposite gender and that all he needs to do is more zealously apply himself to make the system work, following the rules and pressing harder will surely reap success. The gamer supposes that he understands the flesh nature of women and goes about trying to work it to his advantage and like the cocaine addicted monkey he thinks that as long as he keeps pressing the “right” button he will be assured game success. Both of these positions are in an orbit around women, not as it should be centering on God. We seek a rulebook like those plain folks of my youth to evade the facts, we don’t want to hear from God and we want to pretend we can handle it in bite size rules.

Turning to a rulebook to guide us in human relations is a mistake just as turning to God with a rulebook is. Yes, there are rules, but if they define the entirety of our interaction then we have NO relationship. Never fail a fitness test. Display higher value. Utilize preselection. Those can be rules that replace relationship, I’ve even seen this advocated (Don’t share your day to day struggles with your wife). This type of legalism can feel like it has all the answers, a solution for every problem, in our wives the appropriate reaction to every display of fitness testing, in the case of God a way to measure up in our own strength:

This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
(Mat 15:8-9)

 

Rules don’t replace relationship. That was one of the biggest lessons the plain folks taught me. Does my wife have a sin nature, exhibit hypergamy, test my fitness? Of course and it’s good for me to see that dynamic. Do I want to systematize my interactions with her? To turn my responses into a static “defense”? Absolutely not. I want to relate with her and that is the interaction that is under attack by Satan and his minions in the feminist movement.

If we are not careful we will be pushed into two reactionary tracks in response to this attack. I reiterate, game and man-up. The third way is God, who understands the sinful nature that we are fighting in ourselves and in our wives better than we do, He knows the plans and schemes of feminists and He knows how to beat them before they even show up. God is neither reactionary nor static.

I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Notwithstanding ye have well done, that ye did communicate with my affliction.
(Php 4:12-14)

 

Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God; Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life. But if the ministration of death, written and engraven in stones, was glorious, so that the children of Israel could not stedfastly behold the face of Moses for the glory of his countenance; which glory was to be done away:
(2Co 3:5-7)

 

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
(Mat 11:28-30)

 

It’s all about relationship. We turn to Jesus, and that life under His yoke becomes an organic way of dealing with feminism, our wives and each other (without pulling out a volume that rivals “The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire” for verbosity.) It’s no guarantee of marital success, but in my estimation it is far superior to the rulebook.

I have an analogy that I go to when discussing relationship. Jesus described Himself as “the way”, so I cannot claim originality with this picture.  I have a road map and a set of rules for operating my car, I can use them to envision a trip to Anchorage. For some people this seems like enough, they have the directions, the rules. I want to drive to Anchorage (rarely, but you get the point). I want to go there and interact (buy stuff). I want to enjoy the mountains on the drive. I have to get in the car and apply myself, understand the directions yes, but the trip is always about more than the directions in practice while not in theory. One is rules, the other about experience.

It’s all about relationship.

Duct Tape Dynasty

Arrrrrgh! Since the Phil Robertson “controversy” my wife has started watching “Duck Dynasty”, we haven’t had a television for over a year since I cannot stand watching it for more than 5 minutes so I have been watching it over her shoulder on her tablet. Apparently, growing a beard, wearing camouflage and acting like a red-neck is the new standard of masculinity. Taking up the reigns from the like’s of the Cable Guy, “The Red Green Show” and Tim Allen’s “Home Improvement” these guys lampoon masculinity for fun and profit. The formula is well established at this point. (Haha, look at the clown with the beard, or put another way, the “Duct Tape Dynasty” of ridiculing masculinity).

Recently I was watching feminist culture critic Anita Sarkeesian whine about the Bechdel test while she applied it to the Academy Awards. The test is intended to show that women aren’t making a significant dent in our culture. The test has three rules:

*The movie must have two female characters.
*They must have a conversation.
*About something other than a man.

I watch Anita Sarkeesian for comic relief and would note that not one single video of hers on YouTube would pass the Bechdel test. Sometimes I wonder if you took the average feminist day and applied the Bechdel test to it if they would “pass”. I doubt it, every conversation that they have with fellow feminists must be strewn with words like “rape culture” and “patriarchy”, so blaaaat, FAIL.

I’m wondering if we could start applying a test that would help us register the impact of the “patriarchy”. Call it the “True Patriarch” test, in keeping with the Bechdel test we’ll have three rules.

*The media must have a man that put’s God first.
*He must be respected by his family and/or show narrator.
*While having a sense of humor he maintains his dignity.

Now, go forth and see if you can find a man like that in the media. (I for one have all but given up, although I would say after all of my bellyaching that Phil Robertson probably passes the test). Also note by doing this that while the feminists are filling the bandwidth moaning about “the patriarchy” that it can scarcely be found. Maybe it’s time to break out the classic movies?

Amen, Bro…..ahem, Preach It?!

I’ve been doing some catching on the egalitarian front and I was reading over on Shirley Taylor’s blog where I found out she has a new book called “Women Equal-No Buts: Powered by the same Source”

No. seriously. that. is. the. title.

Really.

Anyway, I was reading on her blog and discovered that there is a call for schism. It has finally gotten to the point where churchianity is completely intolerable for some egalitarians. Tony Jones over at Patheos is throwing down his limp glove liner, incensed over the subjugation of women in Churchianity (oh, the humanity). His bullet points?

  • If you attend a church that does not let women preach or hold positions of ecclesial authority, you need to leave that church.
  • If you work for a ministry that does not affirm women in ecclesial leadership, you need to leave that ministry.
  • If you write for a publishing house that also prints books by “complementarians,” you need to take your books to another publishing house.
  • If you speak at conferences, you need to withdraw from all events that do not affirm women as speakers, teachers, and leaders.

Wow, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

That is, we who believe in the full equality of women need to break fellowship with those who do not. The time for dialogue and debate has passed. The Spirit has spoken, and we have listened. It’s time to move forward with full force.

Now all we need is a time machine so that we can send him back 100 years I think we could really solve some issues. Isn’t it ironic how his calling for schism from us makes me oddly united with him? In effect Tony Jones is beckoning his readers to the maw of the matriarchy.

 

Obsessed about Sex?

Over on the Dying Dogs Porn thread jake907 asks:

I do have a couple of questions though, can you draw a line between being obsessive about sex, and just having a good strong sex drive?
And also, what are some guidelines for dealing with “dry spells”, whether that be an unwilling wife, sickness, pregnancy, or even just a difference in your sex drive versus your wife’s?

Personally, I think that porn bends us up. Look at the YBOP site and they talk about “tastes” developing, whatever weird crap got us hot and bothered via pixels is a distortion I think. So getting off that stuff is going to be a key to getting back to a baseline (our baseline). After that it’s going to come down to how badly we want it and where we prioritize it in relation to our wife. Pregnant I can work with, sick I can work around and “unwilling” is something we need to deal with. I’m not Roman Catholic so I don’t have any problems with letting my wife “help me out”, she needs to see how much drive I have and this is a very direct way of communicating my need.

If our wives are unwilling, or like “Pastor Ed’s” wife, we need to do a better job of communicating our expectations of them, realizing that yes we have a relationship and a responsibility for them to Christ. “No”, isn’t a long term option although it may be necessary to go through some challenging dry spells. I’m not talking about force, I’m talking about Godly moral suasion. We really need to be brave enough to broach the subject and “beard” the hyena. Scripture verses are good.

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
(1Co 7:2-5)

And a strong masculine (non-begging) frame. Don’t beg for something that God has given you from the person who covenanted to give it to you freely. That’s just weak. Talk/persuade don’t argue/beg. Just being determined to vocalize it and address it in the clear can have a strangely beneficial affect on our wives.

Not to get to graphic, testosterone makes everyone feel better. If as in the last post our wives get to be the nurse, guess who get’s to be the pharmacist. You can check out other health effects here. Also, I see porn as the problem, not thinking about my wife or having a “friendly” phone call should I find myself or her out of town.

All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.
(1Co 6:12-13)

God bless you in that.

Dying Dogs Porn.

(Subtitle: A male oriented argument against porn).

I’ve been thinking a lot about “Manning Up” (TM) since dad died. Specifically, what it means to bear the gravitas of a patriarch. His older brother (my Uncle) is still alive, but suddenly I find myself in a family of women along with a brother in law. It’s sinking in. I started letting my beard grow the day after dad’s memorial, his reached nearly to his belly. Call it a symbol of office, mine has almost as much white in it as it does red or brown.

Anyway, it has had me pondering authority in new and significant ways. Call it an understanding of the dignity of the office of patriarch. That’s one of the reasons that I start thinking about pornography, dignity. I’m glad that as I have aged the fires have died down significantly, that is a mercy.  Another result of my middle age has been young men approaching me on the subject of porn over the years. My advice has started to crystallize along the following lines:

It turns husbands into thieves and sneaks to meet a need that should be fulfilled in the marriage bed. It gives us an escape hatch where God meant for none to exist. Instead of taking the question of our “burning” (as Paul put it) into the teeth of the feminists, our wives, the church and society we slink off like sick animals to lick our wounds and die in the dark. Meanwhile, not learning to meet the legitimate needs of their husbands wives are in a decaying orbit of solipsism, being told by the enemy that they are to serve themselves first, mocking men and their sexuality as they go.

The problem is largely ours, we stopped rightfully insisting that they do their job, a job that they should desire deeply to do. A job that the Bible specifically instruct spouses to do, that is, not to defraud our spouses. Feminism has made it impolite and impolitic to discuss any of this. The modern feminist dialogue has made male sexuality taboo, an embarrassment and told us we should be ashamed of it, inside or outside of marriage, that we need to hide it. The Bible say that we are one flesh with our wives, so as I see it, if we are in a pressure cooker of sexual temptation guess who is in it with us? They need to know and they need to be charged with the shared burden of dealing with it. We need to own our end of it by seeing our wives as God’s sole provision and help them understand that’s what they are.

Many are naked, exposed by our nature’s and instead of going to the Lord’s provision- our helpmeet, we instead turn to the fig leaf of attempting to deal with this problem in the shadows.  The medicine has been making us sick, a lethal morphine drip that anesthetizes the pain of burning when we should screaming for the “nurse”. It enervates us when we should be suiting up and going to war with the those that sent our culture down this path in the first place. If we are burning tell our wives to bring marshmallows, hiding is undignified. We need to stop killing the pain and start using it as motivation to re-enter the fray.

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BTW, I also point guys to: http://yourbrainonporn.com/, specifically pointing out the “Coolidge Effect” (named after Calvin himself.)

Dad.

IAL (as I know him) must have written this days ago. I gave him access to write but I have to post them. I need to correct that because I did it when I first started. I knew him and sojourner for a couple years by then from Christian forums.

I am sorry to have left this pending. Its a wonderful testimony to realizing things soon enough to act, and why soon enough can end unexpectedly.

Sorry IAL. Its my pleasure to post this and hope it inspires good.

 

It’s been a long time since I have written much at all. I feel there is a good reason for this; my opinion shrank in my own estimation. Nothing I have set about to write in the last 6 months seems to carry the weight of what I should have learned. What great insight I should be able to share at the passing of my father. I’ve been left without words. I learned to appreciate dad more fully due to the help of the “manosphere”, guys like Empath and Dalrock helped me to see my dad in a new light. Instead of the frustrated genius working his blue collar job for over 30 years, resenting his family and a son that forced him to grow up sooner than he wanted. I now had a window into that frustration. The lonely disposable life of a guy doing the right thing in the face of near universal hostility/apathy, trying to have people believe that he had his shit together, that he was “okay”. I had started seeing this on my own as I’ve matured, but the process sped up with my friendships and contacts here. Thankfully it happened in time for me to have an evening with my dad.

It was last December and we were finishing up a project I had started with mom. Earlier dad had disciplined my young cousin and it had brought up a lot of my anxiety over my own upbringing. This time though I had a new filter to see through. I sat with him through the night and got to express to him my pride in him, how he had raised me and provided for me, how he allowed himself to be chewed up by the system for us. I got to do it in such a way, because of the blessing of circumstances, that let him know that not only had I forgiven him for the violence of my childhood, but that I was proud of him. All this without exposing his shame. It was a God thing.

Dad died in September in his canoe (helping someone else with their “bucket list”) three months shy of his first pension check. He was the third member of his family to die at that age and he knew it was coming. He didn’t complain, didn’t call me and say that his heart was dying. That he was so tired. The best thing I could say about dad that week from my perspective was: I missed him.

Most of my life I feared him, was terrified of him, was angry at him, was fighting to forgive him. I had spent so much time wishing him dead, trying to put distance between us, needing that space, hoping he would change, that I would heal. In the end God was good enough to turn my heart and now what is left is what should be: I miss him.

I wish I could have honored him more, I’m thankful that I got to honor him as much as I did.