But he threw the pizza rolls like a girl

The report says that he (Brad Beard) threw pizza rolls at her and she (Samantha Canipe) threw pizza rolls at him. Cops came. They were charged with one count each of simple assault.

Remember the reaction of the feminist after reading that college freshman admissions were comprised of 60% female and 40% male applicants? She said something like “we are getting closer to equality”

I’m thinking she went on to become a lawmaker in North Carolina where her brand of equality resulted in this display of fairness. :

Police say Beard faces up to 60 days in jail while Canipe faces up to 30 days in jail.

At least in NC they have eliminated the potential for unbalanced sentences for loitering in the washroom designated for the other gender. Now that’s progress(ive).


5 thoughts on “But he threw the pizza rolls like a girl

  1. Seems right: One sentence for each testicle. It’s Brad’s fault for keeping his all his huevos in one sack.

    It’s hard to find a story so perfectly wrong. Why the different penalties? Why the jacked-up hair? Why is Brad with such a crazy-looking broad in the first place? Who calls the cops for a pizza fight? Who arrests people for throwing pizza rolls in their own home?

  2. The report quotes what I guess is the police report, saying they “‘assaulted each other by throwing pizza roles [sic] at each other.’” I think they actually were throwing pizza rôles at each other, something like this:

    “Bitch, make me a pizza!”

    “Then give me grocery money, asshole!”

    “Bitch, you bought meth when I gave you grocery money!”

    “Then do your own fucking shopping then, asshole!”

  3. Who arrests people for throwing pizza rolls in their own home?

    Given that you can get arrested in Polizeistaat Amerika today for even looking at someone “the wrong way,” this comes as no surprise at all. Matter o’ fact, given the increasing lethality of police interventions, it’s a minor miracle that nobody was shot.

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