A post made from a comment

Someone commented on an old post. As I read it and some other older ones I made the following comment. I want to make it a post as well if for no other reason but to remind me what I need to be saying…


Thank you for bumping this post. Because I have not taken care to categorize and make effective the 500 or so posts I have here I forget to really mine what I have already written..

When I look back to 2011/2012 I notice that, while never great, much of the writing was much better than ’14 and after. I will blame the fact that I got busier as my work responsibilities increased. Doesn’t matter really.

What does matter is that I was reminded that I was motivated to start a blog by the reactions I found to my posture on divorce whenever I entered what should have been a safe online place for discussing same. I did a lot of stuff back then and prior, in an activist sense. And while I find feminism, evangelical feminism, white knight-ism, red/blue pill stuff, all that, to be compelling, my drive was frivolous divorce and the damage to men and kids. My drive was anger at the women I encountered who either had rewritten Biblical truths, or were too invested to be bothered with any view that caused them discomfort and took away their pleasant empathy buzz.

I had a kind of niche with the empathy thing and I still believe in the sin consequence of empathy’s addictive siren call to women. I found that the examples I could use to illustrate my points are found too close to home, not just picking on my own wife, but other women in my life. There I can offer sports talk like play by play of conversations and micro-motives that seem to press women from side to side. I am desperate to get back to that as my schtick.

These blunt instruments, like the church not marrying folks in order to trim divorce rates, are powerful possibilities. I must guard against having a revenge type motive in any attempt I make to step back into the sweet spot that pushed me into what little effort I expended on this blog.

I am not a psychologist. Heck I’m an engineer, about as far from a psychologist as can be. But I have lots of experience that my years into middle age keep piling up. Anecdotes that buttress my thoughts on empathy and the driver it is for lots of what women do in marriage, especially Christian women who have even stronger needs to capitalize on empathy opportunities.

It is spreading to men very fast. The profile picture frames to show support for Orlando victims, the official ribbon, the piles of candles and stuffed bears, the parades, the American form of grief porn that we witness shows that a little whiff of empathy has the efficacy of a sex pheromone. Folks want their taste.

As to the post about the church stopping performing marriages, its now irrelevant just a few years hence. Things move too fast. How did we go a couple of years after the Supreme Court SSM decision with the T in LGBT being silent, then suddenly it is the consonant over which the accent is placed? This means the undercurrent is the surface current now and we are fighting being ripped away out to sea by tidal forces as opposed to being the tidal forces.

Both, or all three, or all dozen sides of these arguments are now parodies of discourse with attention spans being  140 character equivalents in length. “Lord help us!” will fit 10 times in a tweet.


5 thoughts on “A post made from a comment

  1. I used to read your blog all the time (and comment once in a while), and also noticed the change around 2014. I won’t say it became poorer quality, but just not as thoroughly written and engaging. I think you’ve explained it pretty well by giving your reasons here for why you started blogging and what it meant for you, and how after that time, your attention was turned to other things. I mostly read Dalrock now, who covers similar things (both of your blogs were high on my reading list at the time), and I check back on you from time to time to see what you’ve written. I appreciate that you wrote this, because I’ve always wondered what was behind the change around 2014. I figured that you were devoting attention to other things, and that there is more to life than blogging.

    I could never been able to write with such comprehensive understanding about all of these things, and I want to say that what you have written has been crucial in helping me understand what’s going on with women, what’s going on in church and what’s going on in man-woman relationships.

  2. That is exceedingly kind of you. I sincerely appreciate those words and I think that my minor epiphany and your kindness will (I hope) get me to focus when I do write so that I write deeper and better posts. Thank You Dawg.

  3. I second that. I have written you before about that “green grass” post in particular and how I’ve studied it as the one that has stayed with me the most, but that is typical. The study is necessitated by a certain je ne sais quoi about the presentation, cloudy in the implementation perhaps but obviously crystal clear in the writer’s mind. The opaque and dense (as in densely packed) style provides all the more tantalizing an inducement to work out the mysteries, Empath the miner digging out and presenting a gem in the rough, his readers the cutters studying the angles to determine how to hack off just the right edges to find the jewel.

  4. I put you and cane in the same (favorite bloggers) box. Sometimes I have no idea what you (both) are talking about but typically it is because I have the wrong pair of glasses on. The other times it is your fault. Case in point, Cane’s recent fcb post.

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