Speaking of particle physics, I thought that outside the event horizon of a black hole, a man could only lower himself as low as a thin sheen on the floor, one atom in thickness.
Then I found this** blog and this post: Cracking The Code: 7 Ideas that would have saved my marriage. I realized they have been looking in the wrong place for the Higgs Boson. No particle accelerator was needed to smash subatomic particles into smaller pieces. Men, just regular guys, are routinely lowering themselves down to a level asymptotically close to zero thickness. Call it Higgs Boson carpeting, with no tripping hazard to those invited to walk on them. Its like they are not even there.
Honey! I shrunk myself! (And installed myself too!)
“Hi there! Your page is awesome, and so are you (wink)!Cool”
Here is Joceldawesome.
A most unfortunate quote from her blog.
“I wanted you back, BBC”
Full disclosure, its quite innocent
DOUBT ME ABOUT THE LIFT?
Back to the parsing. Let’s set the stage with his closing comments:
Should all marital responsibility fall on men? Of course not.
But could men take the lead in a unified social movement intent on improving the state of marriage—and helping to make it a satisfying, life-giving institution instead of one rife with failure, regret and misery?
Is there a red pill primer that is the remedial equivalent of, say, ABC Mouse? Here is where some red pill men start yammering about cuckservatives and socons and tradcons. Those labels do not apply here, nor do they actually apply as much as the sphere likes to boil them up. But that is for a different post.
A successful unified social movement to improve marriage would manifest how? More marriages and less divorces? I’d suppose. Evidence of the failure he mentions, as well as the regret and the misery, are seen where? It must be all the miserable mid thirties divorced (by own volition) women that we see on social media and who write blogs like this guy’s.
Wait. Er….no, no not so much. Jenny Erickson didn’t write this. This guy did. His blog is a cauldron of misery and regret. he confesses failure. And despite all the -maybe this and this and that would have made her not want to divorce- advice, there isn’t a wit of statistical or anecdotal evidence that it would have helped.
Don’t accuse me of saying that doing decent human things is a waste of time. Not at all. But those things have little to do with what the other will or will not do when the other is a wife and the undesirable action is filing for divorce.
His first numbered point (of seven) is illustrative of his defeated frame (my emphasis):
In male-female relationships, the most common source of breakage is this dynamic. Husband does X. It hurts his wife. She tells him it hurts. He doesn’t take it seriously because if she had done X, he wouldn’t hurt like she is claiming to. His conclusion is that it can’t possibly hurt her, so she’s complaining and being unreasonable about something she’s blowing out of proportion. He chalks it up as something he needn’t take seriously.
It IS possible that she is simply being unreasonable. I account for the fact SOME people are just horrible at being alive. Maybe he married one of those for reasons no sane person could ever explain
Where did he get the facts to support his assertion that this is the most common source of breakage? If he would read Gottman’s work he would see where he is wrong. But that is not very compelling because it leads to glazing over or my study is bigger than your study. He should believe his own eyes if they’d stop lyin’.
He flirts with basic truth in his point numbers 2 and 4 when he says, respectively:
Appreciating all of the good things in your life—even when bad things happen—is the only way to consistently feel good
FEELINGS CHANGE CONSTANTLY. Up and down, side to side, and back around again.
So, when you want to make your marriage work even when you don’t “feel” the same as you did on the day you got engaged and had sex all night afterward, the solution is pretty straightforward: You choose it.
How to avoid divorce? Don’t file one. There. Simple.
Number 7 is toxic irony. It says to LEAD:
This does not mean “dominate.” This does not mean: Act like you are better or more important than her.
- You accept responsibility for the quality of your marriage
- You accept responsibility for the behavior and “success” of your children
- You accept responsibility for hurting your wife’s feelings even when you don’t understand how or why it happened
- You accept the challenge of not repeating those behaviors
- You do not passively ask your wife to manage the entire household’s calendar and make all decisions about food or weekend activities, only to complain when it doesn’t align with what you want to do
- You accept responsibility for making her feel sexy and desired, planting the I-Want-To-Have-Sex-With-You Seeds at unexpected times and not just after you ignored her all night and got a sudden hard-on, or worse, only when you’re post-party drunk twice a month
A wife should never cheat on her husband (just as a husband should be vigilantly faithful to his wife). But instead of feeling and exhibiting jealousy and paranoia, or wondering whether she’s looking elsewhere to fill physical or emotional voids, BE THE LEADER.
Accept the challenge to proactively make your wife your life’s focus at the top of your daily priority list.
Then, affairs go away. Emotional insecurity goes away. Resentment and anger and hurt feelings and fighting go away.
He has either been reading relationship books written by women (or by Christian men), listening to women in his life affirm him as he free style emasculates himself in front of them-lets hope the wives of his friends are not offering Lifts because those come with respect that is borrowed from her portion that is assigned to her husband-, or through the blog in a sort of Pavlovian response to reward and punishment.
He has not used his own powers of observation objectively. Mired in self effacement, trying to lift himself up by lowering himself like some Reverse Flash from earth 2 version of Christ’s statement that the last shall be first, he has accumulated an impressive gaggle of lift givers.
On his about page there are 194 likes. A cursory look shows that they are 80% or more from females. How easy it would be to conflate those likes with having a winning prescription for marriage.
** He has a whole series called “An Open letter to Shitty Husbands” that is begging to be parsed.