Domestic Abuse = Terrorism : Crashing a Jet Into Common Sense

In the hands of the wrong person, moral infractions of vastly different magnitude and consequence can be equated in a failed attempt at leverage through hyperbole.

We see this all the time regarding the topic of abuse.

Those of you who have read my posts and commentary for some time know that I often say I have a license to speak freely about domestic violence. And you know why. If you don’t know why, just accept at face value that whether I am correct or not, I needn’t adopt a sort of PC lexicon on the topic of up-defining the term abuse.

For instance I take particular umbrage when so much power is given a single word. If one chooses to tack the word abuse onto any verb, noun, or adjective, magically a new type of abuse is acknowledged. Being seen as an abuse victim greases life skids, affords second (and more) chances, gets attention, marshals armies of concern warriors, and not least….not only gets lots of empathy but also  sets up a new thing to empathize with and about. In other words empathy gets going two ways.

Now as we’ve seem the news of Pastor Saeed being accused of abuse and how the main Christian media is running with the story, we have an example of what occurs in family courts and in simple gossip every day across the country.

One story parenthetically explained that the sexual abuse was having to do with his pornography addiction.  Quite clever because it affords a way to get around the obvious questions about how an imprisoned man can sexually abuse his wife a hemisphere away. If there are readers still left unconvinced, its good enough to have painted Saeed with the broad brush of porn addiction.

In reading a story from Charisma News, which Dalrock linked in his most recent post, I saw that the Christian media will not miss the chance to do some major Lift chasing using Naghmeh’s abuse allegations. After discussing the headline briefly the article goes on the fill more than half of its content with information about how poorly churches are handling the apparently ubiquitous presence of domestic violence in their bodies.

 Two-thirds of pastors address domestic violence from the pulpit one time a year or less.[ ]

It reminds us that we need to speak up on domestic violence in our churches. Our Sojourners / IMA World Heath / LifeWay Research data shows this is not happening frequently enough. Two-thirds of pastors address domestic violence from the pulpit one time a year or less.

The frenzy to show how-much-they-care causes people to believe the most outrageous claims. It also causes them to lose the ability to grasp how contradictory some information is, how cause and effect is set completely aside when making certain claims, and finally causes some to make analogies that are plain dumb.

Bob Smietana of Lifeway Research writes his analysis of the data gathered when they set out to find how frequently domestic violence was spoken of from the pulpit. Quoting numbers like 1 in 4 women have been hit with a fist or object by an intimate partner, he keeps the subject at simmer. He quotes author Justin Holcomb who, in the book he coauthored with his wife, says that abusers use God’s words on marriage to keep the victim captive.

“God says He hates divorce—He also hates the abuse of women,” Holcomb said.

Stating two things that are true he creates a false dichotomy. This fits a common female rationalization strategy. He emotionally cements mutual exclusivity and leads the reader (mostly women) to pick one. Divorce…..or abuse. His statement is succor and cover for any woman who can convince herself there is abuse occurring in her marriage and therefore she must divorce. In the book they make it clear that abuse takes many forms, not all are physical.

That Smietana deigns quote statistics about male victims of domestioic violence is negated by Holcombs statement about God hating the abuse f women.

I followed some of the comments below the Lifeway Research article. They were mostly links leading back to other blogs. One in particular was the motive for this post.

The writer, Danielle Lynn, begins by stating some basic information about the terror attacks of 9/11. She then goes on to say that we marshaled resources to fight domestic terrorism. But (emphasis mine):

There’s one form of domestic terrorism that has been a silent killer for decades. It has infiltrated the church to hide its ultimate demise. It takes Scripture out of context and is used to invoke fear in order to control. It’s domestic violence in the home and should not be in the body of Christ.

It never ceases to amaze me how the enemy can twist the Word of God in order to convince its hostage that God is an authoritative tyrant. We can search the Scriptures from Genesis to Revelation to show how God ultimately views women and children. He goes out of His way to protect them.

I do not know what she means about domestic terrorism hiding its ultimate demise. Sometimes words just get strung together.

But I do know that when the subject of God’s protection is being focused on women and children are being used as a force multiplier, there is hypocrisy even if inadvertent.

The numbers that speak to intimate partner violence, when broken down, show that statistically a woman is safest in a marriage. They also show an even starker contrast for kids. Kids are far safer in the home of their married biological mothers and fathers.

Men write articles and throw in some superficial statistics because it is lazy Lift chasing. Women read them and then regurgitate quasi facts that FEEL right and generate empathy. Women form rationales for others women blowing up families, using vague wording and catchy phrases that make them feel good about other women’s choices, almost no matter what. Women also add tools, skills, and ideas that may one day in the future be deployed as they need to get a few close women and a couple of men, bonus if one’s a preacher, to endorse and assist as she tosses a husband, harms her kids, and puts both her and her kids in greater statistical danger with a new guy eventually.

If she fails to invoke an  abuse accusation initially, there are groups online and in churches and neighborhoods and just about everywhere that are recruiting for abuse victims. They publish checklists. They hear women complaining about a husband and they ask, “do you not realize that you are under abuse?”

She gets her righteous divorce and the harpies get a vicarious kick out of another empowered woman and children who see dad every other weekend and on Wednesday evening.

On the plus side Danielle Lynn is all about gluten free living. Recipes and everything. Yeah!



5 thoughts on “Domestic Abuse = Terrorism : Crashing a Jet Into Common Sense

  1. E.,

    Thanks for taking the time here and picking apart the wrongness (really, wickedness) in their teachings. Your stuff makes much, much more sense than their confused mess.

    Best regards,


  2. Two-thirds of pastors address domestic violence from the pulpit one time a year or less.[ ]

    I am amazed that the Lifeway survey says that 2% of pastors address this “several times per month”. I wonder if there is any evidence that this frequency reduces the amount of violence that actually occurs in those churches.

    I would be curious what frequency these same pastors address marriage issues like husbands loving wives, wives submitting to husbands, headship, submission, sexual attitudes and behavior, and divorce.

  3. Ive been in church for decades. More, once I was dragged into red pill views (most men must be dragged, few come willingly) I researched sermon content to the best degree I could given the constraints of time, seeking red pill indicators. Though not looking for DV stuff specifically, I saw NONE.

    Like you I wonder how it is the number of times DV is mentioned correlates to having an impact on the community. These kinds of statements are idiotic. I can think of no actual social pathology that the church makes a statement about on Sundays that the church is also not simultaneously complicit in the behavior, emphasis on any female behavior up to an including tossing good husbands due to unhappiness.

  4. The dirty secret not being addressed is that the vast majority of abuse occurs in non-married relationships. DV researches call it IPV (intimate partner violence) because they can’t call most of it married partner violence.

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