Emotional Pole Dancing

Pastor called it emotional undressing.

Either way I share his dislike of doing it. But I need to unburden myself of some disappointments and get back min the right frame.

Mrs. Empath and I had procured a week at an all inclusive place on an island somewhere far south and east of Florida. We intended to celebrate our 25th anniversary thus. Id cashed mileage for first class airfare and we were chomping at the bit to go.

Both her and I were attending the gym, and I was playing tennis almost daily. We were able to get into shape over the past three months, eating right, sleeping well, high energy, etc.

Then, I got a tap on the shoulder two weeks ago and heard a whispered, “Hey, Empath, you recall that you have me…. Crohn’s disease ….right? You have not forgotten that I’m here just because Ive never bugged you before, right?”

Well I actually kinda had all but forgotten. So I received a reminder too significant to ignore. Events cascaded, ended up with GI doc doing all kinds of tests and putting me on nasty steroids of two flavors plus a couple of other meds.

My Big Crohn’s Debut….Yay….and our trip was cancelled. Thankfully the booking agent convinced me to pay a couple hundred bucks for trip insurance so we get everything refunded.

Today is the day, the anniversary we are celebrating.. I took the day off. I did so mainly because there was almost no sleep last night and I am weak enough to manage a spot-on bobble head imitation. Slightly anemic, a tad under nourished, and suffering the flares of the arthritis that goes with this monster, I’m starting to get demoralized. There has not been a good day in over two weeks.

I slept all day, until 5PM. Something like 18 hours of sleep. I feel better but this isn’t a problem that rest cures. There are no cures, just good times and bad times, remissions and flares. All with the use of steroids and other bad medicines.

Gives me a chance to weigh in on my favorite topic of food. There is no identified food or dietary trigger from a flare up, not is there a diet known to calm the flare. This is not celiac disease, a condition that more than half those claiming to have it have never has a test done by a doctor, and some who say they have it have had tests come back negative but insist the Doc is wrong, they are gluten intolerant.

This problem I have can be seen clearly with cameras in the right places. It isn’t subtle and when it flares it isn’t irritating…it is all consuming. Between blood loss, mal-absorption, dehydration, skin manifestations, arthritis, so forth, it takes weeks of life away.

So if someone has a dietary idea, Im glad to hear it. Before you share that Id ask that you make sure you know what crohns disease is and how much effort has gone into studying diet. If you are aware of something that may help, do tell. I’m open minded.

Meanwhile, my friend Beav is in hospice and may not make it through July. He cannot recognize anyone and is in restraints so he harms no one.

Some friends of ours from Dallas 26 years ago, their daughter was just murdered. BF, bad choices, bad thing happened. We have pics of our 22 year old son as a baby in the plastic kid pool with that girl.

There are lots worse things than my cancelled vacation and battle with crohns. Ill thank God joyfully as He always gives me context so that I do not emotionally pole dance too much


14 thoughts on “Emotional Pole Dancing

  1. Happy anniversary Empath. Sorry to hear about your illness. I’ve just said a prayer for you, and I hope things go well and you have many more anniversaries which are more pleasant than this one.

  2. I’m very sorry for your suffering. I too suffer a (different) chronic illness so I’m familiar with the lost time and opportunities, as well as the demoralization.
    But yes, He does often give us a glimpse of perspective, not that it’s what you’d call encouraging.
    Happy Anniversary!

  3. Prayers. So sorry you got ill, but your perspective is a blessing to those of us who may be tempted to forget to be thankful in everything.

  4. Long time lurker, never a poster (I think)

    Here are a couple of things….
    (Diagnosed originally in 1996 with UC, morphed into both, UC and Crohn’s… I *DO NOT* own it – it was just a diagnosis….)

    As a believer in the Bible – His name is above *ALL* names, UC, Crohn’s or whatever is *just* a name…..

    Anyway –
    A diet plan that has helped me in the past:

    “Breaking the Vicious Cycle: Intestinal Health Through Diet”

    a biochemist gal who was researching…. much talk on removal of complex carbs, and only keeping with simplex carbs (fresh fruits, vegetables, meats…. no breads..)
    I have had success with this diet….


    Look up Jordan Rubins “the Maker’s diet” – built a business of supplements but was horrifically emaciated with this disease…. I have not had much success with his diet or supplements – but other’s have.


    For a believer in Bible, there is a ministry that focuses on health:


    I have been to their campus in Georgia – they have successfully treated *THOUSANDS* of people and many have been cured.

    They focus on the “spiritual roots of disease” – their 1st weeklong class is well worth it… called “For My Life” – an amazing experience. They have a follow on class after for another week called Walk Out Workshop where you put the theory to practice.

    I personally believe the Bible when it talks on healing – many so called believers don’t believe healing is for today – and well, they don’t get healed! Imagine that…..

    Anyway – they have lots of books and resources, his primary book (large to boot) is
    “A more Excellent Way” –

    You can get it on amazon also – and there is a Kindle version…. this explains the Spiritual root of disease (those damn pesky demons – why do we have to put on the full armor of God?)… and then talks on specific diseases – a great majority of which are caused by negative spiritual roots.

    Get the book, read it, and prepare to be healed….

    specifically for your malady – here’s the “cut to the chase”

    Crohn’s Disease

    Crohn’s disease is a chronic inflammatory disease that can affect any part of the gastrointestinal tract but most commonly affects the ileum.

    Spiritual Root:
    Spirits of: massive self-rejection, self-bitterness, self-hatred and guilt; hopelessness; conflict out of extreme rejection and abandonment; lack of self-esteem; drivenness to meet the expectation of another; codependency; false burden bearing; spirit of fear (as in stress and anxiety).

    I sincerely hope some of this helps

  5. Empath, spent some time praying for you today…and will continue to do so as long as I can remember!

    I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis about 10 years ago and have some bad flares and hospitalizations. Currently on a biologic therapy that seems to be working OK.

    The last year especially has been pretty smooth for me and I’d like to think that in part it has been due to some dietary nutrition changes. It’s worth exploring, but might take some tailoring to see what (if any) improvement can be gained.

    FWIW, here’s what I’ve done in that area since September:

    1. Autoimmune Protocol diet (AIP) for a month or so (similar to Paleo but more restrictive).
    2. After that been sticking close to a Paleo diet (limiting grains to a minimum) and eating as much organic, non-GMO food as possible. Mostly meat, fish, fruit, vegetables. Cooking with coconut oil.
    3. Occasional Juice fasting (to “detox”) for a day — also did one 5 day fast.

    Can’t prove that it’s helped, but believe it has. The main goal is to limit the toxins that come in to your body as perhaps they are triggering an autoimmune response. Would like to be medication free one day.

  6. J thanks for your response and for sharing the info about your UC. How aloof Ive been with several years since its discovery and no symptoms. Then down the rabbit hole with the reality as you have described it, be it Crohns or UC, Potato Pot’ah’to.

    Ill get my nit pick out of the way first. GMO is not a toxin in any manner. I agree on toxins and this flare has had me shopping in places and buying food stuffs I would never have imagined myself doing, mainly because as you say so little is known except take steroids, other immune suppressant meds, biologics, or certain chemo meds and you can pop back into remission….which is widely defined as no writhing in pain and no bleeding, but dont stray too far from a toilet for the rest of your life…..now….go have fun wontcha. Hence, Ive been OCDing on even anecdotal diet stuff. Who wants their upside being daily 3 alarm scenarios possible.

    I do not believe there is a tangible cause/effect between food and flare unless it has to do with feed allergy, which is not firmly linkable to additives etc. But in calming the flare it should be self evident that the easiest things to digest are the most calming on the problem.

    Is AIP like SCD? If its a more restrictive Paleo type it almost has to be. I am positively inclined on that concept.
    The other thing is an elemental (enteric but not via tube, via liquid) diet of constituted partially “enzymed” foods that immediately are absorbed high in the system leaving littl to no residue for the areas that are in stress.

    I cant tell if you are male or female. I’m going to send you an email. If you are female we will talk about this here, no offense….

  7. I went to sit with Beav today. He will be gone in a few days as he stopped eating and drinking and he is now sedated completely as he passes and the hospice is not putting nutrition or hydration in. I spoke to him a bit as his wife sat and listened, and of course visited with her. all together a couple ours the three of us were together and beav snored peacefully the whole time.

  8. Hi Empath,

    I’m of the male persuasion, so email is fine.

    “I agree on toxins and this flare has had me shopping in places and buying food stuffs I would never have imagined myself doing, mainly because as you say so little is known except take steroids, other immune suppressant meds, biologics, or certain chemo meds and you can pop back into remission….which is widely defined as no writhing in pain and no bleeding, but dont stray too far from a toilet for the rest of your life…..now….go have fun wontcha.”

    Yeah, that sums up my experience as well.

  9. Works to do what? Control symptoms, create remission….?

    The thing is, diets are hit or miss, one person low carb high protein, the next high carb no protein.

    FODMAP is for IBS. IBS and IBD/crohns/UC are not related at all.

  10. I realize this thread was from a few months ago but I just wanted to second AIP/paleo as a means to manage autoimmune diseases like Chron’s. I don’t have Chron’s, but do have 2 other autoimmune conditions, rheumatoid arthritis and Hashimotos thyroid disease, and following AIP/paleo has resulted in cutting the dosage of my thyroid hormone med twice, and no significant RA flares in over a year. If you are interested in the science behind this approach I highly recommend the book “The Paleo Approach” by Dr. Sarah Ballantyne.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s