Barbara Rainey is talking about censoring media in the home. She starts by pointing out that censorship can stratify by age of the children and that younger kids be protected from older kids’ preferences.
We’ve seen that an older teen who is making the right kinds of choices can help you establish the right standards for your younger children.
So far so good.
So although everyone has personal tastes in media–TV, movies, music–parents need to take responsibility for setting and maintaining boundaries that work for the entire family
Still tracking ok. But comes the rub.
[ ]you have the right to screen–and to bar–all media consumed by everyone in the household.
Everyone in the household.
I ran afoul of this early in my marriage. I was a new Christian and all in with what was happening as my wife expressed how she didn’t like me listening to a certain musician because he or she was gay. She didn’t like certain fiction I read because she considered it evil. None of these things had anything to do with sex or pornography. She had been raised and lived as a young adult with a set of boundaries, determined by her mother and older sisters, that included:
- I cannot recall the designer but a certain female designer of clothing was allegedly a satanist, so her family would boycott stores that carried it.
- The cartoon, The Smurfs was verboten. It had some shamanic aspect.
- SpongeBob was resisted due to “the way it was drawn”
- The Little Mermaid movie “had a witch in it”
- So forth.
I threw away CDs and books. I went to all Christian music and fiction. And I resented it. Years later when we separated for a time and I awoke to my musical preferences and my reading and film preferences it was like a dead part of me returned to life. When we reconciled I did not revert back to the censorship, nor will I ever again.
We are sensible about these things. We do not live unfettered in this regard. And her preconceived rigidity relaxed.
Now with three kids old enough to be able to see what they are made of, when I compare my brood to those who suffered their entire childhoods under mothers that restricted things based on urban legends and a perverse sort of in-group peer pressure to out-Dugger each other, I’m very confident in having made mostly good choices.
Rainey quotes her son’s reaction to the restrictions.
“But, Mom . . .”
I wonder how many men feel they need a similarly functioning lament to lay on their wives.