I interupt this interuption

My posting has been significantly interrupted. But I had to break in and interrupt that when I read this. As usual, written in haste.

First, the fact that I am so busy is not good. On the plus side it saved me from attending the next section of the “33, The series” class at my church. In my present state I am certain I’d have spoken up when I should clam up. Best I avoid that.

I got to vicariously experience my hypothetical outburst by parsing this FL article. It is, yes, more of the same as evidenced by the title, “5 Ways men Need to Step Up”. It rises….er….falls, or something, to a new high/low of inanity. It provokes new cliche coinage, probably it already exists in Punjabi or some other Waziri tongue … something like, “Vision can yet be robbed from a man born with no eyes”.

Families are a mess and Family Life explains why.

Its the dang weather

The relentless, howling winds of a culture of divorce have uprooted the family tree, and with it at least two generations of men. With our high divorce rates and the increasing number of births to single women, the number of children in the United States who live in a single-parent household has more than doubled since 1978.

Its boys and the aging process

A child is a victim

Children are the innocent victims of this raging storm

But….when a male child grows into a man and the social pathologies manifest, he is a target.

The bottom line: Dad is AWOL in far too many homes today.

No matter if he is forbidden by law, enforced by police so eager to show that they are pro woman that they would arrest a man shot through the forehead, dead, for abuse if his body fell against the wife holding a smoking gun.

Its the hood

Many young people grow up today in areas where the only adult male role models they know are live-in boyfriends or gang leaders.

Its that women can’t even find a half decent man anymore

The fallout has only just begun: a crop of weak young men and frustrated women who are looking for real men.

Its fear

Many of [these young men] grapple with fear. … I think that the dismantling of our families over the past 50 years or so has almost institutionalized fear and uncertainty.

[ ]

They are fearful of assuming responsibility and taking the initiative in charting direction.

Think so? Really? Or are they fearful because to assume responsibility must be wrenched from wench?

Its some-other-thing, a sixth thing in a five item list, some external “they” or “it”

Divorce, the rise of single-parent households, and the tragic assortment of abuse and dysfunction in our families have produced a generation with many young people who are afraid of risk, and afraid to make mistakes.

Its the liberal colleges and their hamuhsekshuyal agenda

My son came home one weekend from his university—a large southern school not exactly known for being the center for liberal thought—and shared with me that he had been taught in class that there weren’t two sexes but five: male, female, homosexual male, homosexual female, and transgender. No wonder young men are confused and young women are left wondering where the real men are! We’re living in a multiple-choice culture: Are you an A, B, C, D, or E? Male sexuality and identity have become a bewildering array of options. [my emphasis]

As I read this, the part in bold is the Shi’ite that broke the camel’s back.

Its the Creator…men are made to quality specs women understandably reject

Thank goodness there are discerning men to find the scriptures to guide us in our mess.

The Bible tells many stories of good men behaving badly—single men, married men, and fathers gone mild or gone wild through compromise, lust, murder, jealousy, anger, passivity, or cowardice. Scripture paints men as they really are

Its that the service has really gone down hill lately

A man serves and leads his family. Those two words—serve and lead—may seem like a contradiction, but they are inseparable according to Scripture. While the Apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:23 that “the husband is the head of the wife,” he quickly puts to rest any notions that this leadership allows any form of selfish male dominance. He completes the sentence with “as Christ also is the head of the church.”

Its that men still read and are churched that Ephesians is license to be brutes

This paints a picture of leadership that is contrary to how the world views it. A man is called to be a servant-leader

Its the increasing femininity in men

We are left with a legacy of men who in varying degrees have been feminized.

A-flipping-mazing. No, no, not the cognitive dissonance. The waste of words, the failure to get to the point, such loquaciousness in light of how simple a point underlay it.

No

Matter.

What.

Its the fault of men.

Men who as children lacked a father because his absence was codified, or because his conception resulted from hypergamic thug rutting, or because momma wadn’t [sic] happy, none of which appear plainly in the list.  They are subtly evident like a lump in the comforter suggests a missing stuffed animal or article of dirty cloths.

The things that are mentioned are all standard male self effacement…the pinnacle of Christian virtue in men.

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18 thoughts on “I interupt this interuption

  1. “…he had been taught in class that there aren’t two sexes; but five…”

    Further proof that Liberalism is a mental disorder.

    And Churchianity isn’t far behind: “No matter what; it’s the man’s fault.”

    By which logic, David Futrelle should exemplify the ‘manly leader’ to which Churchian men should aspire. According to him too: “men are made to quality specs that women understandably reject.”

  2. Had never heard of “33, the series”. It is perhaps best that you don’t participate. I found the site, and found the FAQ, and this is a key excerpt:

    33 builds on many of the timeless truths taught in Men’s Fraternity Classic but also introduces new material and expands the overall experience. The teaching is led by a multi-cultural, multi-generational teaching team, each of whom has been teaching on Authentic Manhood for years.

    Given the huge trap that men are caught in, anyone who has been “teaching on Authentic Manhood for years” is almost certainly part of the problem, not any part of a solution.

    The article you rip up above is by guess who? It’s an excerpt from a book by Dennis “pedestalizing White Knight” Rainey.

    I like how the entire men’s-fault divorce machine, aka frivorce, is somehow reduced to some sort of impersonal force, like a big storm. It isn’t that women have been harming men for 30 years with their increasingly selfish and bad behavior
    that rejects every Bible teaching about marriage, no, no, it’s…something that just happened, like a hurricane. It just happened. Nobody made it occur, it just happened. Nobody actively built an entire industry called “divorce” around extracting resources from men while catering to women’s whims, no, it “just happened”.

    Empath if you are not already lifting weights or at least doing multiple sets of pushups every day I urge you to take it up, just to burn off the cortisol. I know I’ve been away from the weight room way too long.

    There’s a comment by Nova you might find interesting over at Dalrocks, here
    is the URL:

    http://dalrock.wordpress.com/2014/10/31/full-of-sound-and-fury/#comment-148661

    It is a Gen-X specific observation. Were someone to sit Dennis Rainey down and read it to him, slowly, I have no idea what the reaction would be, but I’m sure it would be interestting.

  3. AR, I do burn the stress hormone. At 52 (next month) , weights are de-emphasized compared to when i was between say 30-45, some arthritis with the Crohn’s disease, normal, but limiting in that inflammation never declines, just moves from place to place. Nevertheless, I sweat it out almost daily and still have the college waist line. Ive gone down the stress….eat…..stress…eat…hole before, pudged and fatigued.

    I know all about 33, I was just making a joke, and wouldn’t have gone even if I had time. I went to the first section couple years ago, wrote some about it here. Concluded men not only suffer the ignorance we all talk about, but also few in the suburban church cohort have had any real life struggles, as kids, as married men, economically, nothing. i cant do groups often because once i “share” folks dislike the wet blanket I tossed on the group.

  4. AR, I do burn the stress hormone. At 52 (next month) , weights are de-emphasized compared to when i was between say 30-45, some arthritis with the Crohn’s disease, normal, but limiting in that inflammation never declines, just moves from place to place. Nevertheless, I sweat it out almost daily and still have the college waist line.

    Good to read. The college waistline is enviable. Abdominal fat does a number of bad things. I just am trying to exhort myself and other men to take tangible action against the ever growing stress levels, for their own sake if nothing else.

    Ive gone down the stress….eat…..stress…eat…hole before, pudged and fatigued.

    Yeah, me too. First step for me was/is to view all the vending machines at work as peddling poison. That was one major weakness.

    I know all about 33, I was just making a joke, and wouldn’t have gone even if I had time. I went to the first section couple years ago, wrote some about it here.

    I had forgotten that. Probably should go find it and read or re-read it.

    Concluded men not only suffer the ignorance we all talk about, but also few in the suburban church cohort have had any real life struggles, as kids, as married men, economically, nothing.

    Again you might find Nova’s comment interesting or useful. The great purging of men from families in the 70’s that really got rolling in the 80’s, 90’s and to this day has the side effect of taking away a lot of life experience. Not just how to deal with women, how to deal with really tough conditions. That’s one of the things that just bothers me about men like Dennis Rainey – sure, he got married back in the 70’s, but how could he not notice things happening all around him for the last 40 years? How could he not compare, say, his father’s world with the world that younger people grew up with, and notice the difference? It seems like wilfull self-deception, or lying, and I have to talk myself into considering ignorance as another explanation. That would be extreme, towering, huge ignorance, though – I don’t see how any man can write about the divorce machine as some sort of weather phenomenon from a position of honesty.

    i cant do groups often because once i “share” folks dislike the wet blanket I tossed on the group.

    Well, Eeyore isn’t the most popular character in Disneyland, I’ve been told. They still sell cups / shirts /etc. just not as many as Tigger.

  5. @AR

    Empath if you are not already lifting weights or at least doing multiple sets of pushups every day I urge you to take it up, just to burn off the cortisol. I know I’ve been away from the weight room way too long.

    I know you were writing to Empath, but I needed the reminder. Thanks.

  6. Eeyore isn’t really apt. I’m the opposite of that, quite so per the friends who know me well for decades. When these topical round tables with random church men start all are expected to tell his own version.

    “My dad gave more attention to my brother”
    “My sister was a drama queen”
    “We had to move from one coast to the other”

    All with requisite empathy. I lack all those problems, leave it at that. To put it back to this post, the things men share are side effects of the things stated in the FL article. Not, however, that they reveal how men are messing up families as he asserts, but that men indeed are messing up families by dwelling in such tedious emotive crap and trying to be, well, women in groups…because they think that is how to fix the stuff the FL article decries. These men agree with Rainey and redouble on the stuff by trying to “out-share” each other.

  7. Ok, I searched for “33” and found three articles, one before the program, one on week 1 and one on week 4. I’m sure you would not want to repeat that cycle.

    Based on what you write, the 33 program does not appear to be quite as bad as I expected. After all, encouraging reconciliation between men and their fathers, men and their mothers is a good thing. But as you note in the Week 4 posting, details matter, and the overalll “men bad, women good” paradigm is firmly embedded. It’s like that ridiculous program discussing women’s sins you pointed to – lack of self-esteem? Really?

    The blindness is very wide spread. More glasses need to be handed out.

  8. Eeyore isn’t really apt.

    Ok. Noted.

    Not, however, that they reveal how men are messing up families as he asserts, but that men indeed are messing up families by dwelling in such tedious emotive crap and trying to be, well, women in groups…because they think that is how to fix the stuff the FL article decries. These men agree with Rainey and redouble on the stuff by trying to “out-share” each other.

    Ah. I think I got it. It’s a result of “men bad, women good” – if “women” good, then men need to be more like women to be good. It’s also partly “men and women are the same except women have babies”, so women’s emotive behavior is the normal and anything less emotive is abnormal, leading to groups where a man is expected to provide his share of the drama. And if he does not, then he’s..what? Repressed? Hiding things? Not sharing? Something like that, what you mean? I’ve never been to one of these things so I don’t have the right word.

    But I do know a man who was pulled into some church weekend that was nonstop emotional rollercoaster stuff, and he came back upset and disgusted because as he put it “It’s 48 hours of emotional manipulation”.

  9. And when sharing, what if your analogous facts are like bringing up Ebola in a discussion of childhood ear infections. So, make petty things up, or emote at the poor guys whose lunch box never quite had the luster of the kid sitting beside them on the bus.

  10. re: lunch box. Like many kids from my ‘hood, in first grade I didn’t have no lunchbox, I had a lunch sack; a cloth sack; it would be some time before we upgraded to brown bags. ‘Twas about this time of year one time that I accidentally left my lunch at the bus stop; I know because my momma and baby sister didn’t notice it because they didn’t stay with me to see me off because it was too cold and it was a trek of a few minutes, hustling through the leaves, to get back to the house.

    After I got to school and realized the enormous magnitude of my error, I had a nuclear-powered meltdown. Not for fear of starvation; I could literally go days without food even that young. Not for fear of my mother’s wrath; she didn’t have any. It was the thought that MY lunch was forlornly waiting for ME to eat it, and it would think I had abandoned it. Always mission-centered, I told my teacher that I was now leaving to run the miles back to rescue MY lunch, and she would have to carry on without me as best she could but I would return as soon as I could; I would run back to school. And I would have.

    I suffered/suffer from a smidgen of the rage to master … everything, all the time … . Anyway, because I had put the school in such an uproar, shortly before my China Syndrome reached magma, the counselor/nurse drove me to the bus stop. I had to kneel on the seat to keep a watch for it (this was before seat belts) AND THERE IT WAS! The spillover joy of my elation kept her happy for days or longer.

  11. Heartiste links to a study showing that when women are unhappy they ensure all others around them are unhappy too. Like self-centered children.

  12. Fringed, thank you for saying that. It would be a lie if I claimed no interest in being read and tried to say I write to vent, or to express, or whatever lame reference to some pseudo artistic urge one can make. I did start this blog solely to dish on Christian Forums after they booted me. I do like to write, though the quality here is very low. I look back a couple of years and I can see how my busyness has impacted the posts, not that they were once great and now not….but they were much better when I had dwell time. I glad to have you reading.

  13. Same Shi’ite, different day. The rot sets deep. I still don’t see how headship equates to dominance/domineering/dominant, etc. To me, headship is a positional/authority/relational concept. There is no mention of ‘dominance’ in 1 Corinthians 11:3 (KJV), only headship:

    But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

    No ‘dominance’ mentioned. It seems to me that the concept of headship requires an acknowledgment of position, authority, relation on the part of the one under said headship.

  14. “Where have all the good men gone?” What a loaded sentence. On it’s face it says manhood has declined in quality and quantity while it’s female counterpart has valiantly held the line and is rightly indignant at being stood up. And men are solely to blame for this. However, I hear something different wrapped up in a culturally acceptable male blaming/ female exonerating façade. I hear the young woman’s equivalent of an old woman at a refreshments-less social gathering saying “I was told there’d be cake.” Translation: I went to all the work to show up and my expectations have not been met and I want someone (besides myself) to do something about it because I did enough just by showing up.
    In this sentence I hear women saying ” I believed and did what they said I should do in collage and my well deserved pay off, the “have it all” of a handsome, wealthy, higher status, devoted and egalitarian husband, high power, upwardly mobile career, trophy house hasn’t appeared and I refuse to believe I was duped because then it would be my fault. No, I’m not to blame for being taken in by a lie, it must be the fault of those lazy men who just aren’t good enough to be and give me all I deserve.

  15. (continued from above, had to start my generator so hit “post” in case the computer decided to take a low power nap)
    My expectations have not been met and, instead of altering my expectations to match more closely the reality we all live in (like a responsible adult), I want someone to make my fantasy, what I was told I should want, happen.”
    “Where have all the good men gone” bothers me for other reasons. It, like most of the rest of our social norms, reserves for women the arbitrage of what constitutes what is good and therefore acceptable in men. And any group of people (women) who have the power (vie the power to reject that more interested group, men) to decide another group of people aren’t quite good enough to associate with is also able to dictate the compensation they require in order to lower their standards and allow the rejected group to be considered acceptable.

  16. Matt:
    “‘Where have all the good men gone bothers me for other reasons. It…reserves for women the arbitrage of what constitutes good and acceptable in men.”

    Women have always set the standards of male behavior. Feminism has given them the wrong ideas about men; hence women are corrupting men, not the other way around.

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