Consider my theory, again. The proclivities of men and women are wrapped up in, respectively, physical lust and emotional primacy. Each, unchecked, leads to trouble. One layer deeper, however, and the two things diverge in terms of how they are perceived. They are far apart as, well, east is from west in terms of where they are assumed to reside on the good vs evil spectrum.
The relative moral valuation of these things is so disparate that when a woman wanders into male territory and gives in to physical lust outside of marriage, either when single or in an adulterous affair, her emotional weakness, her gender specific Achilles can serve to mitigate, no, to negate the immorality of her sexual dalliances. It acts as a catalyst for other women to vicariously experience the “hurt she must have been feeling” when she rutted with the pool boy. Its not just team woman. That would not do it in and of itself. They would not be buying this crap buy the pound if they didn’t get something they want in conjunction. What they get is some time in the “Awwwwwww” spotlight.
In order of preference, the empathy that is uncut and most potent is the empathy generated by the self at and to the self from others. The first step down is the empathy that one woman can feel when she engages one on one with the close friend who is at that moment the empathy black hole in their sphere. Sometimes no matter how many times they page the dude he just doesn’t respond, and eventually it is assumed he ain’t holdin’.
When that happens she has to go street. Metaphorically driving along slowly, looking into the eyes of those she passes by, looking for that eyelid quiver that says, slow down, I got you. They recognize one another, these empathetics.
The end up drawn to each other, like the expression from college days, “a friend in weed is a friend indeed”, ideally they agglomerate into an ever reliable pool of shared empathy, like regulars at a crack house they take comfort in always knowing that one of them will show up with something they all need. They troll other relationships, they troll the news, they troll internet forums, always seeking a morsel that can collectively create a wellspring of empathy. They manage to productively clean the crack pipe over and again until finally, if all else fails, someone will come through and manufacture some circumstances in her own life because wow, after after existing on that residue redo for weeks, the euphoria from a powerful pure hit of empathy is something to behold.
Men sometimes give in to lust and have sex with a woman other than their wife or have sex while they are not married.
Three paragraphs about empathy, one sentence about lust. The built in obfuscation makes turning the tide like standing on the beach saying “no tsunami gonna ruin my vacation”.
A woman who is in full on sexual denial in her marriage, but who has managed to generate a semi-permanent state of receiving empathy from others is solid in her place of primacy. Not only does every woman the couple knows want a piece of her empathy action, most every person man or woman they know wouldn’t waste a fired neuron of sympathy for a man in a sexual drought if he stands in relief against a backdrop of his wife, the Cygnus X1 of empathy. Try shining light of truth and watch it bend and disappear. Try speaking truth directly and feel what its like to be crushed into singularity.
In a consumer culture supply reacts to demand. The manner in which supply reacts is not without its own moral contrast. There are products that are specifically designed for men and woman and their proclivities. Have a look at one product designed to alleviate women of consequences for emotional primacy:
Compare that to a product designed to help men alleviate consequences of lust: