The collar and the cuffs do not match

Just like that I received the call to action from Family Life. I am to join them in fighting the proliferation of Ashley Madison.

First in the new article Do Cheaters Prosper?.

Biderman [A.M. founder] tends to make provocative statements like that when defending his company.  And he’s a master at deflecting criticism. “You eradicate Ashley Madison, you’re not going to eradicate infidelity.  That’s what allows me to sleep at night.”  Or, “If you think that all affairs happen on Ashley Madison, you’re very naive.”

Those are clever words. By addressing absurd accusations nobody would make, Biderman deflects legitimate complaints about making money from something most people consider to be immoral.

Can people be so blinded that they cannot see the same dynamic being promoted, whether intentional or not, by the packaged efforts they put forth? More, the questions the writer asks in order to challenge the founder of A.M. could be asked of Family Life. Namely the part about absurd accusations nobody would ever make. I have defended FL and others about the money making angle so I will not let that hang out there  as an unspoken  accusation. I am not on about the money.

But biting my tongue starts hurting when Barbara Rainy writes A Billboard That Hurts Women and Children. That is a shameless headline in the vein of “2000 men killed in Iraq, women and children hurt most”.  When will we get past dropping all reason at the mere mention of women and children?  I did not say women OR children. Important distinction.

Barbara says:

it is hurting all women and children with the invitation to other husbands to join the cheating club.

Will those men be cheating with a broom? A vacuum cleaner? A table saw? No? How about with A WOMAN? Who is the bait and who is the fish, and does it matter when the whole thing is on a pile of rice on a paper plate? Unbelievably offensive.

It gets worse:

My own grandmother, who I loved dearly, was caught in the web of this subtle poison. In a very small town she became the object of another man’s affections, and years later she and my grandfather divorced.

The choice of wording is maddening. She “became the object of another man’s affections”? Doesn’t she mean she chose to sleep with another man? That she saw physical pleasure as a lure that she could not resist and went willfully to her back in that man’s bed?

I did not think I could be shocked anymore. But I am shocked by the audacity of that comment, especially when juxtaposed against the title of her piece.

Her rousing call…

If you and I don’t take risks to counter those who aggressively seek to destroy marriages and families the already fragile stability of our nation will crumble further. It is our children’s future we must preserve.

Noted.

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15 thoughts on “The collar and the cuffs do not match

  1. I have to preface this comment by saying that I have never married but, I do have a little experience with internet dating. I have read two reports about Ashley Madison, boh written by singles. The woman got a lot of attention and the man got virtually nil. That’s pretty much standard for normal internet dating.
    As Aaron Clarey said so well in his youtube video “Death of the Nightclub”, I think a lot of women are there, not to do business in the Sexual/marriage marketplace but, to garner attention and evaluate their worth.
    Could this be why it’s relatively easy for women to find motivated men and hard the other way around?
    Let’s hope that the chuchian lady reads this and sleeps well until she concludes that a broken marketplace isn’t very helpful.

  2. Can people be so blinded that they cannot see the same dynamic being promoted, whether intentional or not, by the packaged efforts they put forth?

    Yes.

    Will those men be cheating with a broom? A vacuum cleaner? A table saw?

    Remind me to stay away from your workshop.

  3. This seems oddly connected to the subtitle I gave on the porn article. A man’s argument……

    We are utterly and totally disposable and Barbara Rainey makes this clear. She’s probably still mad at the Patriarchy for stealing her poor innocent as the driven snow Grandmother.

  4. My own grandmother, who I loved dearly, was caught in the web of this subtle poison. In a very small town she became the object of another man’s affections, and years later she and my grandfather divorced.

    Wow. Just when I think I can’t be left speechless…

  5. If men want answers they are going to find any in this camp. This is truly a hopeless condition that they are in, sold out to feminism and too immersed in it to know any different.

  6. “We are utterly and totally disposible.”
    To all things, there is a limit. In this matter, it is the confidence of men in women. It does take a great leap of faith from a man to make himself vulnerable to a woman within a relationship.
    Would Barbara Rainey be undercutting this confidence?

    Empath, are we at a “laugh or cry” stage?

  7. Fuzzie, I’m at neither laugh nor cry. I just want to keep punping out these observations in the hopes that things like her description of grannies extracurricular activities sufficiently to have enough people grousing that it embarrasses someone, so that they stop writing things like that. Even if they cannot bring themselves to an honest perspective, it would be an improvement if they just ignored it altogether.

    I imagine she would stand by the headline “5000 U.S. men killed in war, women and children hit hardest”. Recently it was “XXX,000 men unemployed, women and children hit hardest”. The culture leads the church around like a toddler clinging to mommies hand, wanting a cookie for not pulling off and running out of bounds.

  8. I can see women who put forth these arguements gaining a little ground in the short run. The problem is that they are undercutting confidence. I have had disagreements with men relative to female agency. Even Return of Kings had a post yesterday completely denying its existaence. They have to be called on it and to it.
    I can’t imagine living with a woman who buys into this malarkey.

  9. “The culture leads the church around like a toddler clinging to mommies hand, wanting a cookie for not pulling off and running out of bounds.”

    That is one for the quote board, sir!

  10. The mega-church focus on charismatic leader types is particularly ironic in light of the truth of that quote. Unfortunately, these leaders are simply followers of the culture, delivering a smooth message of cheap grace seasoned with just enough guilt to make the whole exercise seem religious enough…

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