Whatever place or thing or imaginary world they are keeping music in or on these days, the saying “like a broken record” badly needs to jump forward half a century.
Regardless what device or ethereal space time continuum is holding the music, I thought of it today when I read something from Marriage Builders. But, neet-o, I didn’t just read it and remember an old expression. I made a new (new to me) observation about an old facet of marriage ministries and churches. Part of this is boiler plate sphere. I will announce my new observation from the Rose Garden at 9AM on the 15th. Second thought, I;ll just end this post with it. Only got two rose bushes. Hardly a garden.
In addition to Family Life and FoTF, Jimmy Evans of Marriage Builders occupies some of the free space Yahoo is kind enough to afford me. The first two send daily emails. Evans’ are erratic. You can find today’s emailed article here. Or just read my parsing. I imagine Evans chortling…
If a man knows one scripture in the Bible, he knows the one about submission
Before anyone stops reading, I am not writing about the manner in which these ministries treat what Paul wrote in Ephesians. Like a Chick-Fil-A spicy sandwich, I have, for the time being, had enough of writing about what those ministries teach and why it is wrong. For now. I have to show a small sample of what he says in the article in order to make me big new insight announcement. He goes on.
[Submission] It’s not about domination. It’s not about being mousy or being a doormat. But it is about showing gentleness and a godly spirit instead of aggression or negativity. The Bible says a gentle and quiet spirit is precious and attractive in the sight of God.
A man who sacrifices for his wife and serves her becomes much more attractive to her. God wired women to respond that way. Not based on exterior appearance, but based on how we help around the house or spend time with the kids.
For ten years I have wondered, how can they hold an audience when they say the same things over and again? Not only that, but in a particularly grating manner through inflection and body language, sometimes in simple declarative statements, they act as if they are forging from the rear, on through the front lines, and alone are taking on the enemy to vanquish them. They sound more like the wankers at a TED talk than someone repeating something like a first grader learning the Declaration of Independence.
That repetition always bugged me Expressly for that reason I didn’t dwell on it because who would I dwell on , say, daytime soaps? Same plot, different characters, same hooks, same cliffhangers, and do on.
It hit me then. They know something that I didn’t have in the front of my mind. And sadly while they know it, it doesn’t resonate as a problem.
What they know is that these things, when written, spoken, on videos, whatever are largely not going to the same people over and again. But they make a flawed assumption. They see the new masses intent on learning it and thing they are growing a movement. What they don’t realize is that only when the hole in the bottom of he bucket is small enough to allow less water out than is being poured in, does water accumulate. Same with people in church.
They see the scrubbed face masses every Sunday, and the circle rubbing, and the weepy men at the men’s conference and think wow, what an army. when its just some folks stopping in, maybe for a few years, and they will move on or out or up or something.
They are, by repeating this, making the leak grow. Men in particular will be more inclined, after hearing this message fifty times… each one given as if its cutting edge, they will be scrunching their faces and thinking, am I missing something?
Finally, on the Facebook page you will find this little gem of a hole- in- the-bucket- and-how. its not the content that’s at issue. Its the wording for the link and the tagline , one word in particular. Here is the Facebook page The outreach Im talking about is a couple of pages down on the left side.
The tag line follows, and I wonder how many will catch the word and why its a problem. Ah heck I’ll bold it for ya. Someone comment and tell me what it reminds you of.
Marriage Intensives are available for desperate couples on the brink of divorce.