Love Languages and a bubble bath

Family Life ties up a neat bundle. They raise the subject of Love Languages and meeting a spouses needs They do not even hint at sex as part of the whole marriage dynamic.

What if your spouse is unwilling to read a book about marriage or discuss your marriage?

If you are a man, drop on your face and thank God, and ask that she be thwarted in any effort she makes to embrace churchian wisdom on marriage issues.If she were to read one of these books she would read examples like this:

Rick, a 33-year-old truck driver who has been married for 12 years, wrote, “After I discovered [my wife’s] love language, it helped me to understand why she had been saying that I didn’t love her. I knew I loved her, and I told her all the time. The problem was that her love language is acts of service, and I never did anything to help her around the house.

Acts of service, acts of supplication….220, 221, whatever it takes.

And this:

Rick’s wife, Brenda, wrote, “We were having serious problems and were talking about separating. … Then Rick and I started talking about our relationship. I learned that his love language is words of affirmation.

Notice, in the entire article there is no mention of men’s number one expressed need in that infamous survey…..sexual satisfaction.

She wrote her letter gleefully. It had no sex in it. That’s why he (husband) told her that his need was words of affirmation. Sex was still his motive. The lift, literally.  He knew he may get more sex (still not enough) by saying this than he would by saying that the words of affirmation he wanted to hear were “I love it when you &^%$ me just like that”

These are toxic times. OSHA needs to weigh in and limit the exposure threshold to something less than 50 ppm. They limit harmless chemicals to lower levels. the deaths and damage attributable the exposure to these ideas make chemical exposure look like a bubble bath.

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Love Languages and a bubble bath

  1. There is a bit of merit to the idea of love languages as we women are prone to being so turned inward that we miss the things that speak love to our men.

    I’m not discounting the most obvious one that you mentioned, sex. But men are not one dimensional. My husband really digs it when I’m willing to dirty up my freshly manicured nails to help him do a job. Works better than oysters.

    To quote Hearthie; ‘If I hadn’t run across the Five LL’s, I’d still be trying to win my husband by writing sonnets”, or something like that she said.

    So while I agree with your overall thrust, I thought I’d add a note about babies and bathwater.

  2. Hey Empath, next time the “chore wars” come around, mention you know a guy (me) who does 100% of the cleaning, cooking, shopping, dishes, laundry, etc. — and he does it for no sex cookies whatsoever!

    Brain lock-up will shortly ensue.

    When you tell the rest of the story (as Paul Harvey used to say) the first thing they will want to know is what’s wrong w/me.

    Try the experiment and see for yourself.

  3. “They do not even hint at sex as part of the whole marriage dynamic.”

    Sex is not a dynamic component of marriage. Sex is but the bait dangled to get him to commit to a life of denial. According to too many religious dogmas, sex is exclusively for procreation, and only at her instigation. Once a man has done his job of providing DNA a sufficient number of times to suit her motherhood drive, she will cut off sex.

    Men need to reveal this fact of married life to the younger men. The younger men too often have no idea what they are getting themselves into, for they have little experience regarding a woman enticing the lower head to do the thinking. Once they understand the purpose of pre-marital sex, they can decide for themselves if the experience was good enough to leave behind once “I Do” is declared.

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