Two and a half decades ago I met a family in north Texas at Thanksgiving. .
There were more people from an immediate family in one place than I had ever seen at every-ten-year family reunions when I was growing up. And half the number were little children of the age where they needed assistance constantly. It was noise and chaos, chaos and noise.
I got married and added three to the collective brood of our friends right away, beginning 9 months and 3 days after our wedding date, and repeating at interval thereafter. In groups of people that large, and with that number of other children in those families, we had lots of help making decisions about raising the kids. Once I became a Christian I was prone to embrace the well intended advice of those family members.
So, we home schooled and we filtered everything and we joined the right organizations through church and we set out to raise good Texas Christian kids.
Others in the group went further, by year, in their auto-sequestration. One group had something happen that is still lore. One child actually dialed 911 and told the operator that her older sister was listening to non-Christian radio. That always bugged me.
Another thing was the tendency to dote on the children at the expense of everything. The kids sucked all the air from the room. I was not raised that way. It was and is not my way. My wife can go that direction time to time and its troublesome. Dropping anything as a kid says “Mom”.
Years went by, we stopped home schooling for a plethora of reasons. Families grew and grew up.
Things started going badly wrong. I will not list off specifics except the one I close with. Suffice to say that pretty much none of those doted filtered kids, which number well over 20 souls, turned out lacking dysfunction. Some to heavy degrees. There are lots of illegitimate kids, divorces, drugs, suicide attempts, etc. This from the highly sanctimonious.
So, this Thanksgiving I was yet again surprised by a turn for the worse of another. A girl who, now 30, went to Bible college, married a nerdy young man from there, did all the right things I am sure, entered ministry together, textbook dream of the Texas home school subculture, well, she ultimately frivorced. I wrote about her in a comment at SSM’s this summer, that she is 31 and an exotic beauty. That she had separated from her husband. And that she had everyone convinced that the guy was working too much and not paying her enough attention, and that everyone was A-OK with her split.
I found out today she remarried. The divorce was not even filed in July, so it must have been finalized inside the Texas 60 day minimum. She (31) married a 19 year old Air Force airman who her younger brother, also in Air Force, brought home on leave. He is a super stud, very handsome, very muscular, and very much not like her now ex husband.
If ever hypergamy was to be in evidence, if ever the sexual nature of 30 something hot young women was demonstrated, it is in this rapid meltdown. If ever the idea of not holding women to account was to be shown as factual, it is in the rationale I’m hearing from the family. One sibling is upset. The rest, in total, are lamenting how badly the ex was ignoring her. “Its abandonement!” they say, hence divorce was called for.
I harken back to the kid calling 911. The girl who remarried is the one who was listening to scandalous pop music. The parents were the ones with the most sage parenting advice, and a healthy superiority complex about it. I wonder about churchianity and how, the harder it is adhered to, the more it correlates to dysfunction. Now those parents have a new son-in-law.
And this young man, well, he is a dedicated member of the armed services.
He also must have made her tingle so hard you could see through her body.
I am calling it the Wish Bone Incident.