Wives are in control when it comes to marital happiness. That’s what an article at shine/yahoo has to say today. A funny sidebar, in my tab over my browser it is truncated to say “Wives are in control…”. The tab is more correct than the article.
When it comes to marital satisfaction, it turns out women are in the driver’s seat.
If they would have stopped there, the profound simplicity of the statement would have awed me. But no, they had to whittle.
Those in marriages in which the wives calmed down quickly during an argument were found to be the happiest. What’s more, those same marriages were shown to be happiest in the long run too.
We skip the cause of the argument. We skip the form and function of the argument. Not important. If the wife calms down afterwards all is well.
What does this really mean? Nothing new. It states in a tangential way what most men experience regularly. An argument starts for whatever reason. The subject becomes irrelevant. The manner of arguing becomes what the argument is about. Then, if the woman calms down things get back to normal. Of course that’s true. Because the man are EXPECTED to calm down. The men had better calm down. Crap will reign down on men if they do not calm down. Its her choice alone to de-escalate. The man knows all along it doesn’t matter if he is wrong or right. With every de-escalation he grows more frustrated.
They hypothesize the reason for all of this must be those dang stereotypes again. Matthew, did you contribute to yahoo?
even when both men and women were good at calming down during a disagreement, the emotional outcome of the fight was determined by how the wife was feeling, which, in part, might stem from long-held gender beliefs
Baloney, they say, the only reason women are the emotional center of marriage is because they are expected to be. Nothing innate about it.
At least they get this right
“Wives are more bothered by conflict than husbands are, and it causes more distress to them and has ramifications
for their long-term marital happiness,
But, as usual, for all the wrong reasons.