Like a drum: If she’s bad, you are wrong, if you’re bad, she may be right

Contrast FOTF advice to men and to women in the respective articles, Viewing Your Wife in a New Light, and Viewing Your Husband in a New Light.

To the man who is thinking maybe the woman he married was selling something, a loss leader sort of deal:

You might find it helpful to sit down and list the reasons why you chose this particular woman to be your wife. Think of all her attributes that you enjoy and value. Think of yourself as the author of the Song of Solomon, writing about your bride. Shift your focus from the negative and critical to the positive and appreciative.

Then make a date to share these thoughts with her.

Additionally, men, because YOU need this reminder that she really was not play acting the part of a good potential spouse, and any notion that she baited and switched is yours and yours alone, it must be because you are suffering from boredom and need the following admonishment:

Disappointment may be making you vulnerable to the attentions of others, who you might imagine would better meet your needs and expectations. Or you may just be resigning yourself to years of regret about your choice of a spouse, bitter that you’re obligated to stay in a marriage without any hope of realizing your dreams.


Ladies, if that guy you wake up nest to seems light in the areas that you were attracted to those years ago there are a couple of things you need to do:

  1. Choose to love him. We’re told in Ephesians 5:32 that marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and the church. There are inadequacies in the church, yet Christ still loves her.
  2. Look at how you may have changed as well. Jesus warns in Matthew 7:1-2 that the yardstick we use to judge others will be used to measure us, too.

Buck up girl! Oh, while doing those two things do not fail to consider this third piece of advice:

Realize that you may have legitimate concerns. Voice them to your husband in a constructive way with the hope that he’ll be willing to work toward change — or at least understand your concerns.

After reading this typical drum beat, I have a better idea for the guys. In case of either  scenario……just go do what I was for the last three days:

fishin That’s my goofy drum fish, but not me holding it (nor is it me behind….I’m taking the pic).


2 thoughts on “Like a drum: If she’s bad, you are wrong, if you’re bad, she may be right

  1. Come on, Empath, that photograph is just like your avatar.

    Seriously though, is drum fish edible? If it is, that looks like the feeding for a family of four at least in someone’s hands.

    Whuile you were fishing, you were doing something more conducive to being Christian that reading FOTF. I have consigned that bunch to the same category as CF and don’t even go there.

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