Marriage Road has no guardrails

In the comments after the past few posts, the recurring manosphere theme of happiness not being a marriage imperative has come up. Red pill men generally hasten to point to the suffering demonstrated in the bible, culminating even unto the cross. With Christ as THE example, the fact that this has to be spelled out is bad. Worse however is that no matter how much and how clear it is explained, it doesn’t take in today’s church. This is epecially true about marriage.

A recent article at Fox that was inspired by the young bride who pushed her husband off a cliff lays out some sound observations about marriage in general and speaks to the problem of happiness as the goal. It begins:

Marriage is so suffocating for so many people that it makes millions of people wish they could hit “rewind” on their lives and step away from the altar.

And some do.

It takes extreme examples sometimes to illustrate a basic point:

The reason Jordan Linn Graham is now internationally newsworthy is because she accused of doing is something millions of people have fantasized about doing (and, thankfully, do not).

Here you have it in all its pedestrian splendor. The things making people unhappy are things that are a basic part of marriage in the first place:

The more mundane reasons for marriage misgiving include fully realizing (only after vows are exchanged) that one’s freedom, socially and romantically, is now much more limited. They include intuiting that new responsibilities—perhaps for home ownership and for children—are now closer than ever.

The writer rightly observes that everyone that ever married has experienced these same issues to some degree. How acute they are can depend on the spouse, but these are by design the things about marriage that are materially different than being single. Yet lots of people still mark decades, even with some unhappiness scattered amidst the joy or the opposite.

Yet, they stayed. They stayed because, on balance, leaving their spouses seemed more painful than remaining with them.

He suggests that his thoughts on this go deeper, but the suggestion is vague and the scope of this article doesnt lend itself to exploring it further.

It may be that love in the context of marriage (an institution that is, in its current state, spiritually draining, psychologically suffocating and broken nearly beyond repair) amounts for a large percentage of people to this: I loved my spouse enough to suffer this journey alongside him (or her). (emphasis mine)

Instead of heading into commentary about what is really broken about marriage he awkwardly starts to flirt with ideas about alternative ways to arrange families. I’m not sure exactly what he means but I am sure he is on the wrong track.

I wish I had better news ,but I would venture that right now in America there are millions of people who would agree that they wish they had not gotten married or had married someone else, and that they have felt that way for the entirety of their marriages—from Day One.

Sadly very true, but not because we have organized marriage incorrectly or that it lacks flexibility. Marriage was orgabnized, ordained even, by God, not man. Man codified the arrangement into law and placed guardrails beside what God intended. Man (woman) didn’t like the guardrails so they worked to eliminate them. No fault divorce does just that. Now all those normal things that take adjustment for married people can be let lose to erode the commitment and convice some that there is a better mate than the one they have. More, that they deserve one. And God’s intent, well, that required only some fast rationalization to get around. No lobbying, no guilt.

Jordan Linn Graham’s husband could have used a guardrail. And Jordan Linn Graham could have used the knowledge that the very thing that is wrong with today’s marriage, a lack of permanence, was available to her as an alternative to murder.

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10 thoughts on “Marriage Road has no guardrails

  1. Empath:
    This story dovetails into the comment I left on a previous thread about our moribund culture. The act itself was bad enough, but the media tards’ rather laconic statement that “the reason that Jordan Linn Graham is now internationally newsworthy is because she’s done something that millions of people (correction: read ‘women’ here) have fantasized about doing.”

    Even though the media scum won’t admit it, this is the same reason that Jodi Arrias and Susan Smith were supposedly ‘newsworthy.’ Now, like a bunch of cannibals dancing around a stew-pot, the media is going to give free rein to its bloodlust—with another thinly veiled slough of misandryist garbage, parading around as a ‘search for justice’ and ‘closure for the victims’ (whatever terms like this actually mean).

    We’re on the fast-track back to Barbarism, make no mistake about it.

  2. You know Empath, when this story first broke I said to my husband: “This must be some kind of mistake. Surely this was an accident. Who is ready to kill their spouse on their honeymoon?”

    He just looked at me with raised eyebrows in that way that said, “It is still possible for people to surprise you?”

    And then the details came out and I couldn’t figure for the life of me why she didn’t just call off the wedding. Easy enough, right?

    Those who would make excuses for this woman’s alleged crime are despicable. If she is found guilty of this, she needs to be put away for life. She had the option of being free of this man, moving on, and giving him the chance to do the same with someone who wouldn’t rather see hi dead than be married to him for even a week.

    Instead, she kills him and plays the part of the grieving newlywed widow?

    Ugh. People.

  3. I can’t stomach the story. When I first read it, I completely written her off as weak since the marriage only lasted a week. If she couldn’t handled being with him, she had the entire relationship before acting upon pushing the man off the cliff. Let alone the people that are trying to find excuses for her actions. I can’t stand them and she deserves an Oscar for playing the sad widow. I still have no remorse for her.

  4. Elspeth & Rookie Writer:
    Let’s analyze this for a moment.

    Women are told that they are victims of male sexual exploitation; that all sex is really rape and that women have a right to their bodies; and that all men are expendable and disposable. Didn’t Jordan Graham and Jodi Arrias act on those very principles?

    Likewise, they are taught that they have a monopoly on reproduction, the ownership of children, and that a foetus is nothing more than a zygote which can be removed anytime it becomes inconvenient for the woman carrying it. Didn’t Susan Smith act on this very principle?

    Ideas have consequences, as Ayn Rand said. You can’t sell misandry to a culture and expect men not die as a consequence. As a parallel, just look at the random attacks on whites every time the media exploits some allegedly ‘racially-charged’ incident.

  5. “Women are told that they are victims of male sexual exploitation; that all sex is really rape and that women have a right to their bodies; and that all men are expendable and disposable.”

    Trying to with hold my words about this particular here but if women are taught this than those that believe this is part of the problem especially when Adultery comes up in a marriage.

  6. Stuff like this happens all the time, you usually just don’t hear about it cause it’s mundane when it doesn’t involve someone getting pushed off a cliff.

    Roland Sweet’s “Stranger Than Fiction” column used to run in a weekly paper I read. There were running categories of The Honeymoon is Over, as well as Fatal Arguments, with people killing each other at receptions, or before the wedding (over the menu), and other such bizarre and incomprehensible happenings.

    This one for some reason broke through to bigger headlines and wider coverage.

  7. Yes freakish things happen. The other day I bought Eagles tickets. That very day CNN reports a woman stabbed her husband because he was playing Eagles music nonstop. I’m watching my back

  8. I once read a story about a funeral service where, during the procession, the coffin exploded. Investigators found out afterwards that the antique watch the deceased man asked to be buried with was actually a time-bomb.

    I’m going to have to remember that one when I get around to making a will…LOL

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