I am going to honor Sabrina Beasley, very belatedly. I stumbled upon a surprising article at Family Life (written in 2006) where she challenges a friend about her intention to divorce her husband.
Her friend’s words are the churchian template for frivolous divorce.
“But I cannot believe that a good God wants me to suffer in a bad marriage. He wants me to be happy.”
I am always amazed at how someone can read God’s Word and imagine that their happiness is paramount. Beasley clearly gets that. She points out that what she hears often follows a pattern:
If God is good, could He possibly want me to be unhappy? Doesn’t He see that staying in my current marriage would cause me a lot of pain? Can I call God “good” if He allows me to suffer in a bad marriage?
The snark in me wants to say, does the death of a parent cause you pain? How about the death of a child? What about the loss of a job or maybe having your house burn down? The ONLY difference is that there is no one to lash out at, no one to “divorce” over these things. So, what do churchians do? They twist Paul’s words to the Romans and say “all things work for goooood”, and move on. That is equally silly in its flawed interpretation.
What is it that separates Beasley from scores of other Christian women? How did she manage to find such moral clarity?
It turns out she found this truth in a fashion not unlike how men finally stop putting women on pedestals and swallow the red pill.
Sabrina became a stay-at-home mom and freelance writer in 2008 when her son was born. In 2010 her husband, David, was tragically killed in a car accident, leaving her a single mom of two young children.
Trauma brings clarity.
How precious is the woman who has been taught to treasure a husband in such a way as to see the disposal of one as the affront to God’s design that it truly is. Bless her.
And more, for those of us who write in the Christian manosphere, from the mega-blogs to the little one’s like mine, let us pause to realize that somewhere along the line our own wives came to a sufficiently similar conclusion to keep them joyfully holding to the vows they made with us years ago. Bless my wife too.
That’s who this woman is.