Ask your wife to point out where you can be leading her

(Previously titled Head Fake)

For this husband, one of those steps involved a daily time of prayer and study with his wife.

By the time I met this husband, it was nearly a year since he had initiated that regular activity with his wife. “Since the getaway,” he told me, “we have started each day with a devotional time together. We read a passage of Scripture and we pray together. That one simple step has had a profound impact on our marriage.”

This was a husband who took a courageous step to lead his family. And it paid off.

It therefore makes sense when, as quoted above, Lepine says:

For the sake of our wives,

I have no problem with that statement. Its how he then goes on to explain what to do that is problematic. All along I’ve maintained the “lead where she wants you to go” aspect of this. I’ve been slow on the uptake about the playing field itself. All language that is even remotely assertive is regarding leading prayer and devotionals, attending church and so forth. These ministry leaders are creating followers for THE MINISTRIES. They are building in expectations that, because they (the leaders) created them, they are the ones best qualified to keep explaining them.

In any other area of life, men are still ogres, unfit to lead because we continually overstep our mandate. Men can also lead and discipline children. But towards our wives, be prepared to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit as He manifests in your wife’s heart. Once you have cleared it with your wives, feel free to “lead” all the Bible studies and devotionals you can manage. And then some. Be prepared to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit as He manifests in your wife’s heart. Then she will feel loved.

He says it is easy to see why women have reinterpreted scripture. Yes, it is. They read things like this.

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15 thoughts on “Ask your wife to point out where you can be leading her

  1. Excuse my French but the “servant-leadership” is the biggest bullshit churchian term of the last few decades. They compare a husband’s role to Jesus’ because of the feet-washing narrative. Even if the comparison is warranted servant-leadership jockeys seem to forget that Jesus just JUST DID IT, with no direction or prompting from the apostles. I’d even go so far as to assume that some of the apostles didn’t want Him to do it. This is in direct battle with “check with your wife” imperatives.

    It you have to clear it with her first, who’s the real damn leader?

  2. Servant-Leadership needs to be struck from the lexicon. It is a term that Alpha pastor’s use to not-so-subtlely refer to themselves and the position they take, while not remotely acknowledging the
    The says that to be a leader, you must become a servant. Meanwhile, it completely ignores the fact that you need to become a leader first and you are serving people BY LEADING because leadership is a difficult task because you are responsible for a lot.

  3. Ask your wife to point out where you can be leading her

    It’s reached the point of absurdity. LOL.

    [I’m changing the title of the post to that line…its money]

  4. Instead of “servant-leader”, perhaps they should instead call it “puppet-leader”. While it doesn’t roll of the tongue as nicely, it is certainly more accurate, given that the wife is pulling all the husband’s strings.

  5. It sounds like these guys have been reading Game blogs: find out where the woman wants to go and then pretend you’re really the one in charge. Pffft.

  6. That is bad Game you are describing Eric, if it is Game at all. The experts (who I do no mean to lionize, because they are largely unethical) do not cater to female whims; rather, their whole schtick is that they know how to bring the woman into their Frame. That is, convince the woman they are giving her what she wants, when she is actually giving them what they want.

  7. Donel, I disagree but really dislike the debate this instigates. That you describe it as such, that they describe it as such is playing with words.

  8. I was not referring to any discourse you and I may have on it. That would be fine. And because my blog is not 1000 hits per hour no debate like that is likely to ensue. My comment was an observation that when the topic comes up on heavy traffic blogs I dislike those debates….not any and every debate regarding same. In fact, I’d be keen to read your thoughts on it further.

    That is, convince the woman they are giving her what she wants, when she is actually giving them what they want.

    That fits right into the present debate at Dalrocks on women craving leadership doesnt it?

  9. Pingback: The Married Prostitute | Donal Graeme

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