It is 106 degrees here. So this Jimmy Evans email gave me a rash:
He was a deeply committed man of God, and I loved him dearly.
But that changed when he took a job in another city and moved his family away.
To be blunt, the man who hired him was extremely ungodly. My friend’s new job kept him busy and prevented him from getting involved in their new church. Worse, it required a lot of travel—usually with the new boss.
An ungodly companion, frequent travel, and diminished church commitment. This was a recipe for disaster.
Several months later, our friends returned for a brief visit. We had them over for dinner, and I thought the man seemed distant and guarded. Karen noticed as well. “I don’t like the way he looks at me,” she said after they left. “I just feel uncomfortable around him.”
She couldn’t put her finger on it, but we knew something was different.
Less than three weeks later, I got a call from his wife in the middle of the afternoon. She was frantic, and crying so hard she could barely talk.
“He’s leaving me,” she said. I heard her children crying in the background. Stunned, I asked to speak to her husband.
“Don’t try to talk me out of it,” he said when he finally came to the phone. His voice was cold and callous as he told me he wasn’t happy because his wife didn’t give him enough sex. He thought he deserved better.
I knew it immediately: pornography. It soon became clear that this man and his boss had been watching porn in their hotel rooms and visiting strip clubs on the road. Influenced by his new work companion, my friend had allowed his mind to become infected with filth.
Interesting. Jimmy Evans KNEW it immediately. Prescient of him. But what he doesn’t know is that for every man this may or may not be true about (as causative for divorce), how many women sit amongst their gaggle of gigglers and ramp up the discontent by swapping things “God showed them” in the marriage books they have been reading? And what about that sex denial thing? Here is the fulcrum. He (maybe) viewed porn because he was sexually refused (reason, not excuse); she filed divorce because he viewed porn/she didn’t feel loved/she hated the cut of his jib/whatever (excuse AND reason).
And what is up with the “I didn’t like the way he looked at me” remark? Avert your eyes man!
Jimmy, shatter the veneer of sweetness that covers the sickness of female divorce contagion, then you will be spending your time in uncharted waters, and maybe make a difference.
Nah, didn’t think so.