Mature hamsters, train ye the younger hamsters

Yesterday I had to bite my tongue.

I met with a sales manager from a major oil company, 45 years old, attractive and not overbearing woman who knows her stuff and has my respect professionally.

She starts telling me about her 13 year old daughter. First, she tells me that in an email exchange with a dermatologist, the Dr. had asked the mother of the girl was on birth control. The girl saw the text on her mothers phone and asked her mother, “What’s birth control?”

Is that real?. Maybe. It would not be surprising, necessarily, that a well raised home schooled kid didn’t know lots about sex, sexual terms, etc. But this is a girl who attends a massive middle school in a major city suburb. And she has presumably attended health class in said public school, and she asks, “What is birth control?”. I can’t be sure, but I can be doubtful. yet the mom embraced that as a sign of good raisin’. So be it.

Then she began to tell a story of how the girl has zero interest in boys, and she , the mom, posits that its because, you know, boys are not good students. So, the teacher assigns a group project and puts the daughter with two boys. The mom explains that maybe the teacher was trying to help those boys by putting them with the superior girl. Mom tells daughter she needs to get their phone numbers and assign sections and cooperate on the project.

So, the girl goes to to the boys and says, “guys, if you have any interest in knowing whats happening with the project you need to give me your numbers so I can call you and inform you”. She then asks her mom, “why do i want THOSE boys numbers anyway, eewwww.”

She proceeded to lay out every stereotype of the studious girl and the silly boys and that her girl got it all done on her own, her girl is better is science and math than history etc., and the boys are not good at anything. Her daughter had chosen a palate of extreme AP classes and was flourishing. The boys, not so much.

But she was teaching her daughter to be patient with the boys, help them learn her superior study methods and organizational skills.

Amazing to see the hamster working on behalf of the daughter, training the daughters as yet not fully developed hamster. The moms hamster was working overtime seeing the world through the rodents tiny eyes, past the little whiskers, and keeping the image unchallenged with walls of protective assumptions surrounding everything.

Someday, that girl will marry.

And so on.

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12 thoughts on “Mature hamsters, train ye the younger hamsters

  1. I go to church with a guy who has a very smart, studious daughter. She did all of the AP stuff throughout high school. Now she’s starting college for Pre-Med since she wants to become a doctor.
    When I asked if he had seen the stats on what happens with female physicians, he looked at me with a puzzled expression. I basically told him that he should do a little research as he encourages his hard-charging daughter into that field. Obviously, female doctors that end up getting married and having children spend significantly less time practicing medicine to the point where their training would have been better spent on a male. Not to mention she significantly limits her marriage options and the men that she will find attractive.

  2. Single mother?

    Honestly, I think I might have said something in this situation, but you would’ve had to phrase it very cautiously.

  3. I have very mixed opinions on your story, part of me thinks respect the man, the other part of me thinks I had some crappy boy partners in school and didn’t want to partner with them either….except in math, boys made great partners for upper level math and physics, girls were terrible partners for that stuff. So what should she tell her daughter?

  4. On second thought boys seem to do okay when they’re together. I think that boys and girls shouldn’t have to work together on projects, maybe just pair them with same sex. Our science fairs were usually won by boys even if it wasn’t neat and pretty like the girls’ projects.

  5. So what should she tell her daughter?

    To be nice. to not be arrogant. To not fall into the boys drool garbage. Are youa asking what to tell her re this project or in general? Whichever, the idea that this mom is addressing it with “be patient with boys they are just not as organized” is maddening. I so badly wanted to point out what you are saying about physics and math, but see, this was a science project. Science, in Jr High, is more textual and rote, than method and process, so it fits. The woman was boasting her daughters acumen in math, as well as her superior dedication, “she gets home and immediately does her math, she spends Friday evenings and all day Sunday on math, 6 plus hours, because (of course) she has dance and gymnastics at competitive level on Saturday. This conversation read like some made up thing that would be proof text for the manosphere and generally against the feminisation of education.

    I wanted to tell her that despite her daughters diligent study habits and keen ability to regurgitate math methods and facts fast fwd to high school and the apex of the class will be boys, and the girls that stay at a good level will most likely not be the type that are in dance and gymnastics at a competitive level. I was disappointed in this woman. Until now, she has been perceived as one of the group of women I deal with that have no axe to grind, no over compensating, maintains her femininity and attractiveness as well as pleasant demeanor….easy person in general….then this and I see that peeling on layer of the onion back let out a bunch of rot. I would warn her that her daughter is unlikely to be a STEM chaser, and that the boys who she rejected as not worthy to have their phone numbers even for the project are more likely to have STEM careers.

    We are so far off in the wrong direction in terms of boys and girls, how they learn, and who to promote in what ways its sad. This manifests materially in my home as my wife and oldest daughter come to me with needs for help in math, chemistry and physics. It was especially telling for my daughter. I explain something to her once and she gets it, and scores markedly better than she did based on her (female) teachers explanations. Because it caters to what the women perceives about her daughter and education.

    She should tell her daughter all these things, guiding her appropriately, not pandering to her sense of superiority when it is based on window dressing.

  6. No she is not a single mother, her husband also has a heavy travel sales career in and around the chemicals and refining industry. And, coup de grace, they have a son that is younger. The hamster allows her to at once denounce boys and simultaneously hold her boy in a separate category mentally, never once considering that that is conflicting.

  7. Thanks for that little story Empath. Sounds like yet another woman destined to write a “Where have all the good men gone?” articles twenty years down the line…

  8. This is why men need to avoid American women like the plague. They barely reach puberty here before they’re instilled with a hatred of men.

  9. To paraphrase Ogden Nash:

    Gather ye hamsters while ye may
    For time brings only sorrow
    And those who tread new wheels today
    Will tread old wheels tomorrow

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