Dear Abby , Sam, two sisters, mom, and why all the divorces?

DEAR ABBY: The other day at work, my girlfriend overheard a group of people in the break room talking about what they’d do first if they won the lottery. Without exception, everyone in that room said the first thing they would do is get a divorce. My girlfriend was stunned.

Have you ever done an informal reader survey on this subject? Is the state of marriage in America really that bad? I’m also curious if answers would differ along gender lines. Let me know what you think, and thanks. — HAPPILY SINGLE BUT STILL A BELIEVER IN MARRIAGE


DEAR HAPPILY SINGLE: No, I have not done a reader survey on this subject. But I’m glad you asked, because I think what your girlfriend heard is a sad commentary on the state of the marriages of her co-workers. Readers, if you’d care to chime in on this, I’m sure it would be enlightening.

Yep, sad….

DEAR ABBY: My daughters are attractive young women, both doing well in their professional careers. “Melanie,” who is 27, is married to “Sam,” an extremely attractive and successful man.

My 30-year-old daughter, “Alicia,” has been divorced for a year. Her marriage failed two years ago because she and her husband had an appetite for sex outside their marriage. While I was disturbed about that, I was horrified to learn that Melanie allows her sister to occasionally have sex with Sam.

Melanie’s argument is that Sam is less likely to cheat given this situation. When I asked her and Sam about it, he said it wasn’t his idea. My current husband says any man who would refuse this “set-up” would be nuts. Alicia claims she “doesn’t have time” to date right now, and after she finishes her MBA, she’ll seek out a more normal relationship.

I am distraught about this mess. Melanie says she wants to start a family soon. She says she loves Sam, who can “handle everything,” and she enjoys seeing “everyone happy.” She says Alicia won’t sleep around now and, maybe, one day she’ll marry a handsome man like Sam who will “return the favor”!

I can’t believe these girls are my daughters. Should I continue to protest or let it go? Is this relaxed attitude about sex prevalent in young people today? I cannot understand Melanie’s lack of desire to defend her turf. — HEARTBROKEN MOM IN FLORIDA


DEAR MOM: Your daughters appear to be into the concept of open marriage. Clearly, they do not view marriage and relationships the same way you do.

Melanie is naive to think that encouraging Sam to have a sexual relationship with her sister will discourage him from seeking other partners. Far from it. And as for her wanting to start a family, has she considered what will happen if her husband impregnates Alicia at the same time — or first?

But back to your question: Are you right to protest? You certainly are. That’s what mothers are for — to inject a dose of sanity when everyone around her is losing theirs.

Gotta be Sam’s fault. By the sound of it (an extremely attractive and successful man) mom may just be jealous she is not invited.

Dear Abby: Should I tell the husband of heartbroken mom in FL that his wife is thinking about stepping in to help with Sam?

Signed:A Concerned Blogger



9 thoughts on “Dear Abby , Sam, two sisters, mom, and why all the divorces?

  1. “My current husband says any man who would refuse this “set-up” would be nuts.”

    Everything we need to know about what is wrong with our culture is right there.

  2. Yes, they are real….well, my follow on is clearly not, but the first 2 are.

    Cane….yes, I didn’t even think to squeegee that “my current husband” comment into the pool of bile. Good catch

  3. What does it say about Melanie that she thinks this? Where on earth did she get such an idea from? Her sister is in for a rude shock shortly, I wonder how long before she tries to steal Sam for herself.

    These are both depressing stories.

  4. If I read your comment quickly, what with the use of the first names, the inquisitive tone, all together it sounds like reading a soap opera synopsis parody…..funny

  5. I would laugh at this if I wasn’t so sure that Satan was already doing so…

    If this was an isolated event, it would be manageable. But its not. I don’t see how a civilization can survive this behavior being the norm.

  6. I wonder if Abby followed through (or will) on the Lottery survey. I suspect that the results would show a wide gender difference.

    The mother in question 2 asks Abby the wrong question. She ought to be asking herself just what she has taught her daughters throughout their upbringing that led them to think and act in such a way. I suspect that a lifetime of the same sort of misandric cynicism shown by the lottery discussing women was the norm in her household – when dad wasn’t around of course. Or maybe even when he was in earshot. But I am just guessing.

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