Today’s Moments With You email from Family Life includes the following text:
Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
I’m sure you’ve had a disagreement (or more than one!) with each other that turned into a stalemate or brick wall. You didn’t really care if it came to a conclusion. You just wanted a truce. You wanted this thing behind you. You were tired of fighting. Maybe it started with an argument about the checkbook.
Maybe it had something to do with the in-laws. Maybe it was a difference of opinion on a parenting issue. But somewhere along the way, the conflict turned into much more. It took on a life of its own. Now you can hardly stand to be in the same room together.
Well, are you prepared to let reconciliation start with you? Are you ready to give up the notion that you’re mostly right? Deeper still, are you willing to strive to recapture the reality of what your marriage is all about–the transcendent beauty of reflecting God’s love on Earth?
I know that you may be thinking, When I’m hurt I don’t care about God’s glory. I just want to get even.
Don’t be ruled by your emotions. Instead, do it Jesus’ way: Take the log out of your eye. No matter what your spouse has done, no matter how misguided you think he or she has been, the key to real resolution is to start removing your log. Accept full responsibility for your part in this, and place the value of your mate and your relationship above the value of your own pride and your need to be right.
God wants more for you than being able to tolerate each other. He wants you to show forth His glory in the way you honor, love and respect each other.
Remove the logjam. And shoot for something higher.
Any log in your eye right now? What squabble of yours needs to end right now, with both of you saying, “It’s me. I’m sorry”?
Ask Almighty God to help you sacrifice pride for the grandeur of your marriage–so that it can reflect His love.
Lets consider this, my wise Christian friends. Can virtue become corrupt? That is a different question than “Can virtue be corrupted?”. Though the overlap they do not share a genesis.
Churchianity seems to love what I will call the oxymoron, nebulous absolutes. These take on the form of scripture derived cliche and rattle around the churchian tool box waiting for them to be needed to get them past a tight spot that only a dash of well quoted scripture can fix. The churchian hamster will turn its nose at secular morsels for the most part, but he will gobble these pellets until foundered.
Judge not , Log and toothpick, the other cheek, all things work for good, plans I have for you….etc. These are churchian cliches that comprise the movable guardrail of the churchian life. Churchian churches build whole sermon series…..every single year…..around these scriptural cliches, sending armies of, in fact, un-churched people loosed upon the suburban neighborhoods of America.
The one in the topic above is ubiquitous in churchian marriage counseling and relationship advice. It pushed the right buttons of diminishing pride and self and elevating the idea of open ended servant-hood as the apogee of virtue. Think about how this is taken to action in the home, and who it is that is most expected to wither beneath this soft shroud of selflessness. It is not the one who is so in tune with the relationship because in churchian circles, the women has a 50 yard head start in 100 yard dash of marriage, so surely they will not be the ones putting pride before the relationship.
Finally, here is the crucial thing. In the Ephesians ordered marriage, is there a provision for always dropping what this would call you pride motivated side of an argument? Am I the only one who sees this as skid greasing for the female headed egalitarian model?