So its closing in on a year since I started getting traces of “red pill” in my water. It’s been a lot to take in as I have tried to separate my “blue pill” concepts from my faith. I slowly started seeing how the lack of restraint on the part of Evangelical Feminists was rotting the bottom out of the “church” and undermining every relationship it came into contact with. For me, it was a stomach turning experience. Even though I had some distinct “red pill” tendencies I still equated those with selfishness and wanted to love my wife into happiness through supplication, the “blue pill” path just seemed Holy (self-sacrificial even). That was the internal narrative I was operating on.
The problem was, it didn’t work. So then what? That’s what I asked myself. As I started digging into what actually seemed to make women happy I started reading about the principals of “Game” and processing that mountain of selfishness, while facing the undeniable truth that supplication never seems to bring a woman contentment (even when they crave it). Taking that into consideration I began to try and wrap my head around what my real obligation was to my wife. The Bible tells me to love her as Christ loves the Church, even giving His life. Evangelical Feminism conveniently converts that language to male supplication, very simply, submission to the wife IS sacrifice. The man must love sacrificially no matter what, no matter how depraved and twisted the woman is or becomes. I agree. With a twist.
It is under no circumstance a loving act for a man to submit, obey or bow down to his wife. That is truly the most selfish act of all in my opinion. It is forcing her into the role of parent, the role of leader, the role of God and she will not and indeed cannot be happy with that mantel (God Himself won’t allow it). It will lead to her misery. So, even when it hurts I must lead. Even when faced with impossible decisions I am the one who must humbly approach the Holy Spirit (and on every day decisions too) and seek guidance and be held to account. By shirking my leadership role (being lazy) I am forcing my wife into the role that God never intended for her.
It is the most loving thing for a man to do, to recognize the order of God’s creation, to express God’s authority into our families at the sacrifice of our own wants and desires. To set down our own will and take up God’s will. In our marriage that means being a strong leader that wins the obedience of his wife thereby establishing God’s order for her. Setting the world aright for her. Short of this, nothing else a man does is actually Godly love. Flowers, dinners, jewelry may be the frosting but Godly submission is the cake. In order to accomplish that a man must first submit to Godand then effect the submission of his wife, out of love and obedience to God.
Everything that I do now I try to filter through this new view. Am I establishing Godly order around me by his Holy Spirit or am I cruelly letting Satan and the world continue to promote chaos in my marriage? Am I winning my wife to the truth of God’s word or am I tampering with it in an attempt to satisfy her lack of contentment? Will I let the feminist sew seeds into my family or will I align myself with God and combat the pretty lies? Even at the expense of my reputation? Even when everyone is calling me cruel? Yes, that is sacrifice. I think that is the sacrifice that Jesus made. In that sense, Godly leadership IS love.