I wanted to address Noah’s response to Ham’s behavior.
And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard: And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without. And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father’s nakedness. And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him. And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren. And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant. God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
He cursed Ham. How did he do that? Upon what basis would the Old Testament patriarchs bless or curse their progeny? What gave them the right, the authority? In short God honored their words. God gave them authority and he backed up their words. So what? God tells husbands to love their wives as themselves and honor them as the weaker vessel, good deal for the wife. On the other hand the Bible commands wife’s to fear and submit to their husbands, God commands them to do this. Who has God given the authority, the responsibility to? Not the woman.
When a husband abdicates his responsibility he is doing what Adam did, he steps aside and lets the woman chart the course of their souls. He ignores the authority that God gives him to bless his wife and both are going to miss out on God’s blessing for their family, in trade for the feminist dream of equality. Women are buying the lie that it is better to be equal than to be blessed. They are taking matters into their own hands, exactly like Eve did when she decided to make herself “like God”.
As a husband I am absolutely obligated to love my wife, as myself. Would a loving husband allow his wife to follow in the footsteps of Eve? Would a loving husband abdicate his responsibility and meekly follow in the draft of his “powerful” wife. No. Does he buy into the worldly prospect of “equality” and reject what the Bible instructs his wife to do? Does he lead her or poke his toes in the dirt and sheepishly allow her to do what she pleases in the name of “love”? What does leadership look like?
Leadership looks like Noah, he doesn’t hang his head in shame over the exposure of his nakedness, he asserts his authority. He reminds everyone that he is the man God spoke to and that God’s authority flows through HIM. At the end of the day husbands need to realize that they answer to God for how well they love their wives, how obedient they were to God’s voice, we don’t answer to our wives. Ultimately, God is our judge and that is what matters, looking to our wives for affirmation, for approval, for love. That isn’t their job and expecting that from them only causes to make them unhaaaaapy (and us too). Looking to them for something we should only be seeking from God is a sin.
When I screw up I need to deal with God. I need to get straight with Him, my wife is basically my sister in Christ who I’m obligated to love as her husband, she is not my confessor, my accountability partner, my compass to God, or the pure heart of light that should guide all my steps. Treating her as any of those things is not fair to her, it isn’t loving and it isn’t leadership.
My wife used to complain that I pedastalized her as God and I could never understand why she thought that. I get it now. I was forcing her into the place of leadership by constantly abdicating to her judgment. I could never understand how it was possible to lead while being locked in a perpetual pursuit of her feminine approval (as per the feminist prerogative). By doing this I was cutting her off from being blessed by God through a properly delegated husband, one that doesn’t abdicate at the first failure.
Besides hypergamy dictates attraction to a strong man, not a weakling who caves into the feminist culture at the first blush. Noah was a strong man, not a perfect man, but a man who had the authority and the relationship with God to give blessings/cursing and salvation to his family. God instructed Noah in the construction of the ark, how do we think it would have gone if he had listened to the popular culture of HIS day? He and his family would have died with the rest. Noah saved his family because he was a strong man and he had a relationship with God, his wife is barely mentioned.
Something tells me she was glad to have him in her life even though she didn’t receive equal billing.
What is the point of all of this? I think it is our job as husbands to counter the feminist culture, in the world and in our wives. We need to love our wives like Christ loved the Church, and not respond like they are God Himself when the criticize us. Not receive the fruit of the rebellion and validate it as viable and useful behavior. By doing that we are encouraging our wives to rebel and miss the blessing of having a God-fearing husband. I recommend deflecting, ignoring, and dismissing criticism from our wives. We need to prayerfully consider what God might by revealing to us both concerning the criticism and also how to address the rebellion in our wives. That is love.