These Family Life weekly moment emails are amazing. They never cease to push beyond where I expect the church to go in pandering to the women in the pews. And for the most part they know that BEHIND every great woman is a supplicant man, so the donations to FL ministries flourish and the men say bring it baby, bring it.
This week Dennis shares how a man was writing to explain what he was looking forward to accomplishing by attending the FL marriage conference with his wife. Allegedly the man wrote:
I need you to talk to my wife about:
- Getting her to stop watching bad TV shows
- Getting her to read the Bible
- Getting her to listen to Christian music
- Getting her to support the charity work I do
- Getting her to realize that she’s a sinner
- Getting her to stop drinking beer
- Getting her to stop wasting our family’s money
- Getting her to stop worrying about fixing up our home
- Getting her to realize she’s setting a bad example
Do you believe this is even real? I’m sorry, I have a huge problem accepting that he randomly found a man saying these things, rather I believe he flipped the genders and rationalized it that, well, it could easily go either way. But he choose poorly with this example. Drinking beer? Support HIS charity work? Incredible…Dennis also said:
I can’t squeeze all of them onto this page, but you’ll get the idea.
Really? A man sat down and made a list that the 10 points recounted are merely a representative portion, to give us an idea?
For every man who would even THINK these things, how many women are there out there who would?
Then, how many men who would think them would think them in a cogent list all at the same time?
Of those, how many would write them down and share them with Dennis Rainey?
Dennis then responded:
“Well, sir, I’ve got a better idea. What if instead of making this long list of things you’d like to see changed about your wife, you made a list of what you needed to change? What if you made a list of what you most appreciate about her? What if you made a list of her top-three needs from you, along with a deadline for you meet them?”
I can only make conjecture, but lets suppose the list was from a woman….I mean that’s a stretch but stay with me…would his response have been the same? Or would he have probed softly and then reinforced her desires for these good things but gently prodded her to go about getting them differently. Would he have turned it around on her asking her to question what she can do to meet the guys needs?
When faced with this list which likely came from a woman, not only did Dennis most likely not want to put something this common out with regard to what a woman would do, knowing it would resonate wildly with men, he most assuredly did not want to face the women of his ministry, especially his wife, as he took the woman’s concerns and flipped them into her needing to work on herself.
Of course I could be wrong. Do you think I am?