One Brave Woman

Today I read this at CF:

When I joined this message forum several months ago I was hoping to gain insight on how to deal with my husband. He wouldn’t get a job and was going other things that bothered me (some of which still do), blah blah blah.

But the thing is he’s been getting better. He’s not perfect, but he’s actually trying now. But we’re still having problems. Why? Because no matter how hard he tries, his efforts never seem to be good enough for me.

I’m starting to hate myself. I know that the only reason I’m unhappy is because I refuse to allow myself to be happy and to delight in the blessings God has given me. My husband told me I have a superiority complex and that he felt like I enjoy feeling like I’m better than him. It hurt to hear him say that. It hurt because I knew it was true.

I’ve always been picked on by people and have been made to feel inferior. So when God blesses me with a man who never ceases to make me feel good about myself what do I do? I cut him down because it feels good.

My husband still has things he needs to work on, but I feel like I’m poison. I need to deal with my need to look for problems, but I don’t know how. Please pray for me. I want to fix my problems but I don’t know where to start.

The thread is here.

Let me be frank, after being there for many years I consider this woman to have broken the code for pretty much every regular female poster there. I am convinced that the men are the victims of hypercritical women with, as this one says, superiority complexes.

This was big enough to not put in my little section about CF because it raises an aspect of the whole evangelical feminism constructed set of unrealistic expectations and female superiority that is the real root of the Christian female initiated divorce epidemic.

Women sit under teaching for years as kids, teens, then young women that tells them men are failures and that they are the relationship naturals, the seal team six of marital skills. Then they marry and treat their husbands that way, smugly assuming they have him and her sorted out and if things would simply go the way they say bliss will ensue.

This women had an epiphany. By her very words I am going to assume that her epiphany came BECAUSE of reading the harpies harping about their husbands and every other husband they come across.

Let me predict, if the thread proceeds, it WILL flip around. It is simply not sustainable as it is now. Link H is doing no good in that he needs to explain what Im saying here, and make use of the mirror this woman is holding up. That men shouldn’t be critical of wives is also true, however, that’s kind of not the issue here. The issue here is the sense of superiority that women bring and nurture and have nurtured by the church, to the point where they are unassailable.

Meanwhile, this woman has done the equivalent of rubbing bacon grease on her and gone walking amongst fighting pit bulls. Right now they are happy to lick. Soon, they will bite.

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11 thoughts on “One Brave Woman

  1. The poster pm’d me after my comment. I sent her a few resource recommendations that I know would just rub most of the ladies on CF every wrong way. She pm’d again saying she was thankful for the resources and was going to check them out. Hopefully she’ll ask me more questions.

  2. Good on you, that place needs some women who will at least meet the harpies head on, because they will ruin any marriage they can, and enjoy the vicarious experience of getting a man held to account. Thats what drives them

  3. I sent her to my blog and she responded in a positive manner. It was kind of refreshing. No sense in getting into a fist fight on her thread.

  4. I saw that when I was browsing the forums the other day. Just like the writer I was surprised. I see one actually figured something out.

  5. I’m sorry you think I was doing no good in the thread. It was a thread that actually made a good point. I said my peace, and didn’t want to bicker about other topics, and I tried not to let them bait me into a discussion on the subtleties of respect for husbands versus respect for wives. The thread seems to have died out without turning too negative. I just revived it asking the poster what is going on and offering more advice.

  6. I meant no disrespect Link, sorry for that. You are the most calm and steadfast man there who holds Biblical truth up. I have zero right to be critical of you sir, I cant even remember what I was really thinking , this is a bit of time back

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