The Uneven Race

Imagine being invited to join a race, the very most important race of your life, and one whose finish line represents eternal life with the Lord. Imagine that just to run this race offers a sense of peace and contentment that is said to surpass our ability to understand.

All of the invites announce that there is this race, and that we all start out as “non-participants”, that we are all equal in our lack of previous participation, we are newbies. The further implication is pretty much “hey don’t worry about your fitness level” or preparedness for this race because it is to be expected there will be obstacles and detours along the way, harder for some, easier for others. The organizer of the race personally assures you He will actually run the race with you, and assist you when needed, and offer cool water for the resulting thirst and nourishment for the hunger born of the strain. It’s stated that simply to run this race with all your heart is a winning strategy, and that there will be folks ahead of you and behind you who will all be equally welcomed when the finish line is reached.

But you and many others, roughly half the runners, will receive a follow up letter after accepting the invitation to run. It is billed as an extra benefit set aside for certain potential runners who have a specific set of characteristics. It states that the organizing body recognizes that you have an inherent burden built in by nature that is shared by this 50% of the participants and potential participants. It is written in very sympathetic terms,  encouraging, and even allows that the other 50%, those who do not have this innate burden, will bless and support you with lower expectations of your performance and they will do all in their power to help you overcome your inherent disadvantage. In other words they will be understanding and empathetic, they will be so with verve.

But, because a large group of disadvantaged runners like you, if starting at the same starting line as all the other runners would both slow the more prepared runners, and possibly even lead to some resentment among them at having to accommodate you, there was a special track and training program designed to get you into the right condition so that you can start at the same place as the others and not hinder the group, cause anyone to stumble as it were. The letter says “of course we understand that you are fearfully and wonderfully made this way, therefore we want to see you run this race as well as everyone else, so we have devised a way to help”.

Included with this letter are testimonials written both by other racers with your disability. They are clearly tearful admissions of seeming hopeless and helpless racers, wholike they tell you that you can do, had managed to over come the disability. Other letters testified to how even if their disability reared up in mid race after having been beaten back before starting, there were remediation programs to quickly sort the problems out and get you back on track. The racers that do not have the disability had written letters stating that they are committed to be vigilant, and constantly watch you staying on guard for signs that your disability was manifesting again, and they would shepherd you into the right remediation groups and celebrate each time you overcome. In other words, they had your back and would be there to support you. In your weakness their strength and singularity of focus would rise to the challenge. They will triage, then fix you.

Finally there were lists of ongoing programs to help your group relate to the other group by learning how they manage themselves in their daily running of the race, and teaching you to take on many of the winning strategies that come so easy to that other group. One could say the apogee of successful remediation and race running is the mimicking of the other half of the racers. You should try and be just like Mik(a). Likely, you are married to one of the other type racers, and in that relationship in particular if you pay close attention you can avoid the pitfalls to which you are so prone due to your disability.

You find out that the other 50% of the racers also received follow up letters, and those were filled with encouraging stories of how those who are saddled with a partner with this disability, or simply must deal with these afflicted racers daily, can meet in groups to discuss strategies for coping with those lesser racers, and still enjoy the contentment the race affords. There are groups that encourage and lift up those other racers that are struggling with their associations with the disabled racers. And there are groups designed to bring the good racers and the remedial racers together in pairs to hopefully get them more into parity. The programs strain out, like a filter, those unique aspects of the disabled racers, leaving a malleable shell that can be infused with the better characteristics of the unaffected.

If you were already in the race before you realized everything about this perceived disability, it would come as quite a shock if you found these letters and read them. If you’d never run the race or even known about the race,  and then heard how wonderful it is, but received these letters in advance, you might have second thoughts about even running the race in the first place, because it seems that the disability to which they refer in the letters is a well recognized one even by people who have chosen definitively not to run in this race. To choose running this race means you will batter your nature and celebrate the nature of the “better angels” of the other runners. To choose to not run this race means you have given over to the darker pursuits that your disability preclude you to by design.

Finally, in the course of the race, should anyone like you, the disadvantaged and disabled runner, gain ground and seem to out pace the other more healthy runners, even though arriving first is expressly of no import, the better more equipped runners will get up in arms that they are not constantly the gold standard, leading and acting as side rails to you and your group. They  (This is a big secret because it could even be called a bad characteristic to which this other group is prone.) consequently lay the equivalent of oil slicks and tire spike strips, things that will slow you. These consist of simply adjusting the collective expectations of your group, how all runners feel about the disabled group is taken back a notch. This is done regularly and structurally whether its needed or not, just to be sure.

It is tough to run life’s race while afflicted with being a man.



15 thoughts on “The Uneven Race

  1. Heh, maybe we all need to have a Jayne Eyre to ‘xplain it to us. Without a woman, man is incomplete….I saw the Bible and it said so in Genesis (and the women at CF like to point this out).

    Left you two posts if you hadn’t seen them yet…

  2. Bah, I didn’t report anyone. I didn’t flame or get derogatory. I was trying to be a servant and pleasant, a good example. The thread got closed for review…..the very thing I wanted to not have happen no matter what.

    Any thoughts for a new thread to be polite in that will exhibit the intolerance?

  3. It got reported and closed for review because it “offends” the gang. Remember we’re dealing with a place where one can get permanently banned over something that staff admits isn’t even a rules violation.

    Anything you post that get’s them stirred up, that bothers them in any way, will get reported and shut down or edited, regardless of wether or not any rules are actually broken. Eventually, if you keep on long enough, something will be made up in order to ban you.

  4. A further thought. Remember that the staff mentality is to ban the discussion of certain subjects that always end up resulting in a flame war rather than to address the behavior that causes the flamewar. Rather than address the distortions and twisting that always results in discussions on certain subjects, they either blame the response to said twisting or simply ban the subject. The place truly is a lost cause and will, if it continues on it’s current path, destroy more marriages than it helps.

    But the reality is, if they haven’t seen and addressed the problematic behavior by now, it’s never going to happen. The fact that they blame the lack, or very small representation of certain viewpoints on the people trying to express those viewpoints is simply proof that they(CF Staff) are simply part of the feministic power structure and have zero interest in real actual discussion and maritial problem solving.

  5. CF staff are all feminists, to varying degrees, but ALL are feminists, the males, the females, everyone. The male feminists are like most Christian white knights, like WWC and Big Daddy, they dont even know they are feminists, so settled into the comfy chair of conventional wisdom that rather then be disturbed, they curl their legs up under the throw blanket, grab the big white ceramic mug of pander tea, and double down in defense of evangelical feminist tools like “be nice”, over being willing to see opposing viewpoints stated without being met with the wall of ignorance that is the norm.

    Reading IAL attempt to talk rationally, and the inanity of the responses, even new recruits, as you can always find a new angry young woman to fill in spewing feminist distortions.
    Face it, its 10 years on the outside before abortion is tacitly supported by the MAJORITY of churches, its coming about just as divorce has, and the women control the churches anyway. Women are increasingly comfortable advocating for abortion (and entitlements and any gubmit largesse) and calling themselves Christian purists because equality is THE Godly calling

  6. There are what, 2., maybe 3 feminists constantly online there. Jane (who says her husband wont keep a budget while she basks in telling about her gadgets and hot rock massages) Dallas, who……well whatever, and Romans who says men can rid themselves of sex drive and should because its a curse of the fall of man. Mk is not really a feminist, she is a bit of …….oh heck….whats trhe term Im looking for? She is absolutely this term and its escaping me, its a type of philosophy of belief set….someone help me here…..its very heady and vague, not able to be pinned down, even by its followers

  7. In speaking about the feminists at CF you forgot the men. Boidae comes to mind as a prime example.

    And there’s the guy who’s wife divorced him for another man who is looking to repeat the pattern of Thankful. In the infidelity thread he recently spoke of a meeting with his pastor where he “got smacked” with something he “needed to hear”. Dollars to donuts that message boils down to essentially that her affair was somehow his fault.

  8. In terms of MK, this probably isn’t the term you are looking for but she comes across as an intellectual elitist who gets in way over her head. She definitely gives off an air of knowing better than everyone else or certainly of knowing better than anyone who disagrees with her.

  9. Chaz:
    “””The place truly is a lost cause and will, if it continues on it’s current path, destroy more marriages than it helps. “””

    Yea, here is one womans response to the gals there, who have “helped” her:

    “””You guys are such a tremendous help though, you really helped me to see that the situation showed signs of being very serious, and it turns out that it is. So thanks so much from the bottom of my heart.””””

    and yes
    Oh and yea, Boide is pretty well gone, I feel bad about him, seems like a nice if harmless guy that is sold out to what he has been taught is “right”. If he ever really did get a bite-o-the red pill, a guy like that would be VERY unpredictable

  10. If that’s from the thread I think it is, what started as a wife frustrated about a passive husband who leaves everything to her is now about an abusive controlling monster and even things that any rational person would see as positives are being portrayed as controlling and manipulation.

  11. So, this is as good a place as any to say it….IAL, do you see the brewing cog.dis. on the economy in the new thread? biddaddy panders about women and the economy, they jump in to celebrate their control of the spend etc, meanwhile, just a few threads ago, rejected it out of hand. i suspect a couple of them realize the contradiction and for that reason are holding back posting much.

    the other, unrelated thing (my caps are busted by the way, lots of missing caps, its a loaner PC)
    one poster says she buys the generalization that fat people are lazy, then gets a reply “not all are” made me imagine a dialog

    A : most people are X
    B: not all are X, and not always
    A: correct, some people are actually Y
    B: right, but not all people are Y
    stuck in a repeating loop, never able to stand on any non-fluid fact. is it any wonder the thinking doesnt progress past the very first assertions?

    same poster says that thats not a stereotype, because its true. me thinks one could benefit from checking the definitions of stereotype and generalization. A stereotype can be true! sheesh, please folks dig and read more

    Words actually mean things, writing quickly thinking you can come around later correcting the emotionally led statements of earlier just by saying that wasnt what you meant is bad form, sadly it works these days more often than not

    IAL, just sayin

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