Cobbling together a bunch of seemingly unrelated articles, blog posts, comments, and research can lead to something fascinating. Remember that guy who discovered white out, or the other who invented the adhesive for post it notes, they did so by accident. As an aside, I’m a chemical engineer and have countless stories from the history of chemistry about how things we use every day were discovered by accidental mixing of ingredients.
So, I’ve taken an empty Erlenmeyer flask and titrated in some Dalrock, some WND, some comments from a forum, and some of my own ideas and come up with , if tenuous tell me, a common thread that should alarm us all. Despite the fact that we already know this, corralling all these idea stallions creates more dust than keeping them in their adjacent but individual pens.
The common thread through all those referenced things is mind control. Not the kind of mind control that making a Hershey Kiss on your head will prevent, although I recommend doing that as a family; it makes cool mantle pictures.My kids love it.
I may come back and edit the post to insert this link, but I need to bang this out fast before my crew wakes up and we start Sunday morning. There is a well known relationship psychology expert named Gottman. His site is here. If his internal numbers are credible, and I believe they are, he has some success in predicting marital longevity based on certain behaviors in newly marrieds or soon to be married couples. His thrust is on argumentativeness. But if you read the corpus of his work, chase the links, digest the melange, and are observant, you can pull out a clear fact about controlling behavior.
Controlling behavior is (gasp, who knew) a female affliction. We all know that all relational pathology that is female in origin has been projected onto men, secured with trip wired Kafka traps, and has become just a part of the mindlessly repeated gender relations conventional wisdom paradigm. When women’s faults are added to the actual faults men do have propensity for, then the mantra is repeated for years, it becomes as basic a tenet as “I Am” in the Bible. Kudos to whoever put all that together. Which means kudos to no one because I’ve yet to encounter a woman who thinks deeply enough to even realize these set ups. I did read one once who wrote a paper on the tricks of obfuscation and dissembling regarding domestic violence. In this review of her work (which is written by a man, but her name is Nicola Graham-Kevan and she can easily be found online) she seemed pretty self aware and able to describe these tricks; that’s something for another post.
Still, kudos to no one, I see these tools born of weak thinking, not clever scheming.
Controlling behavior speaks to jealousy, nagging, bossy nature, disrespect, knee jerk rejection of gender differences, power struggle, rage, unhappiness, and all from the cesspool of modern low self esteem. Low self esteem and empathy lust are the two wenches of the apocalypse. Trying to decide which is cause and which is effect is like trying to understand Laplace’s demon. But they both compel controlling behavior.
In the article about the little 4 year old girl whose father was arrested because she drew a picture at school, which depicted daddy holding a pistol, you see where female teachers and administrators first grew vicariously insecure (typical anti-gun nut fear of an inanimate object taken to beyond stupid fear of a picture of same) then found some white knights at her service mam police willing to act as their enforcers….er, …..for the good of the chiiiildreeen. CONTROL!
The second anecdote in that same story recounts a man visiting his family Dr. for chest pains, where the man mistakenly deployed the cliche, “This hurts so bad I think Id be better off dying”. A male Dr. who is subject to nanny state laws sends this man to a nanny Dr. who recommends he be taken into “a facility” for his own good. In the end, he was cured and lost his will for suicide, and more importantly his rights to buy a gun to use for same.The female Dr. experienced deep feelings of self satisfaction, kindred to the day care workers policing a child’s lunch boxes. In what way are sugary foods, toy dart pistols, and real shotguns related? CONTROL!
Segue back to Gottman, marriage, and control. On Christian forums the idea arises regularly that what happens in the mind of a man is as bad as what happens physically. Well, not really, better said what happens in the minds of MEN is as bad as what men do physically. Irony on display, women who demonstrably live in their heads and cannot fathom a man’s empty mental box, despite all their own mental meandering, never seem fall into mental sin. What is their solution for the sins in the minds of men? CONTROL!
From Huxley and Brave New World, to 1984 and Animal Farm, to the movie Minority Report thought control and “thought herding” have been foreseen by prophetic fiction writers. It has arrives. Thoughts associated with crimes are now prosecutable, and roundly condemned with more venom than the crimes themselves. This same dynamic is playing out in marriages.
Wives lacking a husband who is cheating, using porn, or physically abusing them found themselves lacking accusations that get empathy traction. Comes the realm of the mind. Insecure women foist thought sin on men, and see themselves as arbiters of same. They have elevated some thoughts to the level of abuse (he is too quiet hence emotionally abusive, they just don’t feel safe) and others to the level of adultery (he lusts in his heart), both of which of course are power cards and grease the skids of divorce by affording them greater empathy.
More irony. As men have built a society that is safe for women to the degree that they don’t really need A man but rather can rely on THE man (the state) they have grown more insecure. The more collectively safe women are, the more individually insecure. This is easy to explain. The want and need what was once the comfort and protection of the individual men who once headed families and gladly carried the responsibility for caring and securing their families. Even small communities comprised of a handful of men like that meet the emotional need for security both in matters of physical safety and matters of personal worth and emotional comfort in women’s minds. We lost all that, now women have (figuratively) lost it going bat crap wacky with this insecurity stuff.
Women once controlled her environment, her homestead, and her children, absolutely. There was little choice as there was no alternative. The man provided the safe environment, and she managed it. It met her innate need to control, to micromanage, and afforded no time to even think about what may or may not be in the mind of her husband. Now, from the state with gun control and forced dietary management over children, to Christian women using the imagined backing of the God of the universe, we have a population of women drowning in insecurity and the life saver they cast about for is control over the thoughts of men.
It will not work.