Men are driven by the response of women. This is the white knight phenom. distilled. It is ego through which the approval of women enters the male heart and mind, and it is ego that is stimulated when it happens. We men enjoy our egos so much that if we cannot earn accolades from women though direct competition with other men, we will create a scenario that is designed to appeal to women and earn their back patting by pandering shamelessly to them. It feels best when men do this directly in the presence of another male who is expressly not pandering to that same woman or women. He then can stand in contrast, as in “I’m not like other guys”.
Let me explain. White knights are driven be ego as much as the most raw alpha male. White knights think they have a sort of game, that self effacement of men by men is seen as courageous, and rewarded as such by women. This is particularly effective on the internet, or in large groups such as church congregations or seminars where there are mixed gender audiences. These men conflate female approval with having insight into how to comport with females. These men are worse than Pavlovian.
But the positive feedback they get is actually making them all the more pathetic. They do not garner anything real. The nature of the compliments they receive from women are like the comments a man makes as he walks past a display of cool new power tools at Lowe’s. He thinks, “Wow that looks neat and useful”. He may even want one. He may go get one! But then what? When the need arises, he pulls it out, uses it, marvels at its utility and the convenience it has added to his functional goal, then he cleans it off and puts it back in the cabinet. The next time he is strolling Home Depot and sees a display of tools, he will be equally moved by the next new shiny thing, maybe he will even tell a friend later that he saw the absolute coolest new gizmo for (fill in chore here). then they can go get one on his recommendation. Thus goes the reputation of the white knight among women. “Hey lets ask Joe, he is a man and he always sets other guys straight”. Joe is taken off the shelf, used, given his positive feedback, and shelved. Joe has less brand loyalty than a Craftsman. Heck, a man’s tools cross his mind more frequently than the male tool white knight crosses the mind of his female users.
That’s what the white knights get from the women they consciously or subconsciously seek to impress. They are a shiny tool, useful when the ebb and flow of rhetoric could be enhanced by a token man’s opinion, shelved and rarely thought of between times, and forgotten in the next crowd of shiny white knights straining to attract attention to their shelf. The white knight tool who gets purchased and taken home had better never ever ever loose battery life in the face of needing his help facing down a man who is trying to hold women accountable. The white knight tool…..owned….is in a very bad place, because he will get zero ego boost from the comments of his owner. Like a man who owns a tool, the white knight tool’s owner expects his to perform, and be content shelved, but he is expected to clean and maintain himself, the tool has it somewhat better.
White knights get little bumps to the ego, like young folks in clubs putting just a tad of the white powder on the tip of a key and BUMP, a tiny jolt and keep dancin’, another apple pomegranate martini please! They will look around their life, seeking those situations into which they can foist themselves and get some bumps, because they get no more at home. So they sit on the PC at work and make self effacing comments on internet forums and get a tiny bit of a bump from women’s positive reactions. Sometimes a woman will even manipulate them into some twisted emotional affair, where she needs a full time tool to give her the go girl confidence while she hoses down her husband in a divorce. Wears off (translation the women gets divorced and finds a proper alpha), and the white knight feels like shit, maybe even experiences some self recrimination. But the white knight wakes and wades in for more, daily. For unlike seeking a dash of white powder the white knight sees his service to the weaker vessel as good and pure, and is glad to have the opportunity to explain how wonderful his wife treats him at home…failing to note that even the performing walrus gets juicy fish when it completes its routine.
White knights are the on a game spectrum, they just turn the rules upside down, they do everything exactly opposite of the price of PUA’s. When the white knight is shelved, he is not tossed in next to the alpha gamer, alpha gamers are not shelved. In a way, the white knight is more dependent on the little ego boosts of female feedback than any alpha gamer, who generally doesn’t give a rats rear about individual feedback. Another difference is the white knight doesn’t even realize what he is doing, because HE is the one being the most manipulated by his ego.
I cannot sell out to game theory with the religiosity of what appears to me most of its adherents. However, when I see the wallowing done by white knights in the church, I am embarrassed for them, like watching someone in public speaking who has no idea they are making an ass of themselves.
I’ve gone from wanting to show the church where its all gone wrong regarding gender, to setting a more modest goal of wanting to show MEN in church whats gone wrong, to beginning to care even less about showing anyone. White knights are ubiquitous. They react to challenge is a way that fits the old woman scorned cliche, substitute white knight for woman.
What a twisted mess, male ego and the unchecked female craving of empathy. One….ego….has set a gender ripe for being tools, the other, the quest for empathy, has created a perfect trick for the manipulation of the entire narrative.
What will give?